I Will Never Be The Same
by JackPauls23
Summary: Phillip Hamilton has a normal life, until one day everything changes. I am not good at summaries. Please no flame. This is my first fanfiction and I am already nervous to post it. I really hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

I wake up from the alarm screeching in my ear. I turn it off and look at the time, 7:30am. I stand up and stretch.

I walk down stairs and into the dining room. Dad is sitting in his chair at the end of the long, smooth wood table. He has the news paper above his face.

"Hey Dad," I say. "Where's everyone else?" Dad looks up from his paper. His hair is down and hangs below his shoulders. His glasses are on the end of his nose.

"Everyone already left for school" he says.

"Shit, am I late? I keep telling Angie to stop changing the time on my clock."

"Language, but no. You aren't late. Your mother and I made everyone go to school early. We need to have a little talk.

"But Dad."

"Go up stairs and get ready. Come down here after you are done." I groan and run upstairs.

I run down stairs dressed in a tight grey t-shirt and dark blue jeans. My put my hair into a loose ponytail and let it fall down onto my shoulders. I look into my full body mirror.

I am about average height for a seventeen year old. Everyone says that I am quite buff, but I look quite scrawny. My sandy blonde, cork screw hair, I realise, isn't in a ponytail. It is more like if someone shot an elastic in my hair.

I sigh and redo my hair. I click my tongue and wink at the mirror, grab my phone than go downstairs into the dining room. I sit in a chair beside Dad at the table. Mom appears from the kitchen carrying a plate. She puts it in front of Dad.

"Good morning Phillip" Mom says. Before I can answer she wonders back into the kitchen.

I look down at Dad's breakfast plate. It has three eggs, two pieces of toast and eight strips of bacon. Dad folds the newspaper and puts it beside him.

Mom comes out a moment later and puts a plate in front of me. It is smaller and has two eggs, a piece of toast and four strips of bacon on it. Dad always gets double more than me. Mom says it is because he is a hard working man, even know every morning she tells my brothers, Dad and I the same thing. I don't really care anyway, I don't usually eat breakfast, at not least with my family, too loud.

"Thank you" I whisper.

"A growing, young man needs a good breakfast" Mom says. I smile weakly as she walks back into the kitchen.

Dad slowly eats his breakfast instead of scarfing it down like he usually does. I look down at my plate. I grab my fork and poke my eggs. I watch the yoke run down it and go onto my bacon.

"Phillip?" I look up. Mom sits across from me where Angie usually sits. "Your father and I have to talk to you."

"What about, if it is about last week when Angie blamed me for putting oatmeal in her shampoo it was Alexander. Angie just blamed me because that is what she always does; it is her way of getting what she wants." I ask putting a strip of bacon in my mouth. Dad puts his fork onto the table and wipes his mouth with a napkin.

"Phillip, don't speak with your mouth full" Dad says. I swallow and clear my throat.

"Sorry" I whisper.

"Hon," Mom says. "Mr. Burr was talking with your father. He said that you and Theodosia have been fighting a lot lately and haven't been spending much time together."

"Mom please don't try to pry into my relationship" I say.

"We have just noticed that you have been distant. We are ju-"

"Mom, it is my life. It isn't yours or Dad's. You don't have to know everything I do!"

"Phillip Hamilton! Do not talk to your mother like that!" Dad yells slamming his hands on the table. "Apologize, now." I look down at my feet. "Apologize to your mother right now Phillip!" I stand up and grab my backpack off of the chair. I walk over to the front door.

"Phillip come sit down!" Mom yells at me. I open the door and slam it behind me.

I walk down the driveway and onto the street. I love this part of New York; so calm, so peaceful. I look above me at the trees covering the Sun. I watch the leaves fall onto the sidewalk. I love November, my favourite month. It is neither too cold nor too hot, it is sweater weather.

I walk down the street to the high school looking at my feet. I keep my hands deep into my pockets. I walk up a couple of steps and head to the door. I put my hand on the handle. I hear some people laughing. I turn around.

George Eaker leans against the wall of the school hanging out with a whole bunch of girls. Francis Laurens hangs off his arm. She deserves so much better. Apparently George is an abusive boyfriend.

Francis' eyes catch mine. She waves and smiles. I wave back. George peers at me. His smile isn't friendly; it is a sleek, scary smile. I look away from him and walk into the school.

I walk up to the second floor of the school where my locker is. I squeeze through the crowd of people. God, I hate this, I am so claustrophobic. Instead of opening my locker I bang my head on it. I have done this so many times that it doesn't hurt anymore.

I really shouldn't have walked out on Mom and Dad. I didn't mean to get so angry; just they don't need to know about Theado-.

I feel a small hand on my shoulder. I turn around, of course, Theodosia.

Her black, curly hair streaks across her face and her red lipstick stands out. She is wearing a crimson tank top with black tights. Her hair reaches just above her shoulders. She wears a black, laced, choker around her dark skinned neck. She looks kind of like Mr. Burr right now. I have heard she looks a lot like her mother do- did.

"Hey Phillip," she says. "Are you ok?" I turn back around and hit my head back on my locker.

"Let's just say my parents are dicks," I say. I look over at Theodosia. "I'm fine." I take my head off my locker and open it. I take out my phone and check the battery: forty percent. I grab a text book off the top shelf and my battery pack. I slam the locker door closed.

"I will talk to you later Phillip. I have to get to class." I smile and nod. She walks down the hall the opposite way from where I am going.

I sit with my chin on my desk. I stare up at the clock hoping the tiny red hand doesn't reach the twelve. I don't want to go home, I will just get punished. Dad is always on his last string, you know, living with seven kids and a helpless wife.

The tiny hand reaches the twelve and the bell rings. I slowly stand up and walk out of the class after everyone else. I walk down to my locker. I open it and grab my backpack. I sling it over my shoulder and slam the door closed.

I shuffle my way out of the school, past thousands of sweating, hormonal teenagers, finally reaching to the court yard. I take my phone into my pocket. I look at the time, 3:08pm. I put my phone back into my pocket. I go sit down on a platform next to the stairs.

"Hamilton!" I look back over towards the school. George is walking to me fast, his fists clenched. When he reaches me he grabs the collar of my shirt and pulls me up. He slams his fist into my jaw. He lets go of me. I tumble to the ground, almost smashing my head off the platform. "You want to stare at my girl?!" He rapidly kicks my ribs. "Go ahead and look at her. You will just get another one of these." He kicks my jaw. I cough and close my eyes.

"I was just wondering, maybe you could answer it for me. How can a dick like you end up with a girl like Francis, she has done nothing wrong. She deserves better than an abusive boyfriend" I say slowly getting up. I clutch my stomach and rub blood off my lip that poured from my mouth. George gives me an uppercut. I fall and roll down the couple stairs, banging my head hard on the cold cement. I stand back up again. I hold the back of my head. I take my hand away. Dark, red blood paints my fingers.

"You just aren't giving are ya?" George asks.

"First of all, don't use those stupid contractions. It is 'are not' and 'you'. Second, why would I give up?" I ask. The taste of blood fills my mouth. I spit on the ground. There is no salvia, just watery blood that spills across the cement. "You are just a spoiled fucking asshole." He hits me on the bridge of the nose. I feel each step as it breaks. I fall to the ground once again. George sits on my chest and rapidly punches my face.

"George!" It is Francis' voice. "Get off of him!" He looks down at me, breathing heavily. He gets off of me letting me breathe. It feels like my lungs just expanded.

"Francis, you have to understand" George begins.

"George go home" Francis says.

"Babe."

"Go George or you won't see me again. You will have to talk with my Dad." George looks scared for a moment, but it fades almost as fast as it came. He looks back at me. His eyes are full of fiery rage.

"You're lucky Hamilton" George says. He begins to walk away. Once George is out of site Francis kneels down beside me. She is wearing jean shorts and a light gray sweater with a burgundy beanie. I can't remember the last time I didn't see her wearing a sweater.

"Are you ok?" Francis asks. She helps me sit up. I lean against the stairs that earlier, betrayed me.

"I'm fine," I say. "Your boyfriend is an ass you know that right?"

"Trust me, I know more than anyone," I think about the rumours. Apparently Francis didn't come to school for a week because George beat her up then raped her. I never thought the rumours were true. As bad as George is, I don't think he would rape someone.

"Come on." She stands up and slowly starts walking away. I slowly get up and pull up my pants.

"Are you sure I should come with you?" I ask. Francis turns back to look at me.

"I'm not going to bite."

"Just making sure" I say. She looks at me and chuckles a little. I walk up to her.

We continue walking down a couple of streets. We stay silent. Francis helps me balance as I walk. Every couple seconds I wipe blood off my lip and nose.

"Uh," I say. "Where are we going?" She looks up at me.

"We are going to my house. I am going to fix your face up a little" Francis explains.

"Does it look that bad?"

"It does, though when I am done with you it will look so much better, much handsomer. Plus do you want your parents asking why you didn't get fixed up?"

"Not really, they will just yell at me earthier way. We are already in a fight."

"Can I ask why?"

"Just me and my girlfriend. Shit like that."

"Oh yeah, you have a girlfriend. Who is she?"

"Theodosia Burr."

"She's cool. We have science together."

"Yeah, anyway my Dad is always trying to find out everything about my life. They want me to have an independent life, but they keep prying every chance they get."

"I know right! My Dad is always trying to find out everything I do and everywhere I go. He can be really annoying sometimes."

"Your Dad is John Laurens right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"My Dad and your Dad are colleges in politics."

"Wait, your Dad is Alexander Hamilton, isn't he?"

"Yeah, they spend a lot of time together."

"Defiantly, every chance my Dad gets, he is talking about Mr. Hamilton."

"Yeah, my brother always tells me about the texts he finds between Mr. Laurens to my Dad. Though whenever he starts talking my Dad tells him to go up to his room and tells his not to talk about it, defiantly not in front of my mother."

"My dad would be secretive about his life, but I doubt he has ever kept a secret a secret. He is such a big blabber mouth." We walk up to the front door of Francis' house. She opens the door and closes it behind us.

"I'm home!" She yells. Her voice echo's off the walls. Mr. Laurens walks down the stairs. He smiles at Francis, but looks confused when he lays his eyes on me.

"Hello Phillip," he says. His voice is not like Dad's. It is kind of high pitched while Dad's is low and kind of scary. "You may not remember me, but I met you when you very young." I know Mr. Laurens use to have long hair, but now it is short. He is wearing a blue suit with a white shirt underneath.

"I kind of remember you" I say. He gets to the bottom of the stairs where Francis and I stand. He shakes my hand.

"Did you get in a fight?" He asks. I almost forgot that is why I am here.

"He did," Francis says. "I brought him here to fix him help a little."

"Do you need any help?"

"No, but thank you." Mr. Laurens nods and walks down a hall. Francis takes my hand and we go up the stairs. She leads me down numerous halls that eventually lead to her room.

"You can sit her if you want," Francis says patting her bed. "I am going to go get the First-Aid kit." She leaves the room when I sit on her bed.

Her room is unlike mine. Her bed is soft and squishy while mine is rock hard. She has six stuffed turtles on her bed covering the three pillows. A white desk sits in the corner of the room. Pictures of her and Mr. Laurens cover the wall behind her desk. The wallpaper is gray. Stars on strings hang across the walls.

Francis walks back in the room with a small white case in her hand. She sits beside me and lays the box on the bed between us. She opens the case revealing bandages, Peroxide, cotton pads and cloths. She grabs the bottle of the Peroxide, a cotton pad and a bandage. She puts the Peroxide on the cotton pad and put it on my lip. I wince and close my eyes. She pulls her hand away.

"I know it hurt, but it will help. It gets the dirt out of the cut." Francis says putting it back on. I can feel the dirt being pulled out of my lip. The Peroxide burns. She dabs it in different places on her face. By the time she is done my face feels swollen and sore. She finishes it off with bandage.

"Take off your shirt" she says.

"What?" I ask shockingly.

"Take off your shirt. Just in case he ripped the skin," She looks at me. "When he was kicking you." I nod and smile. Francis turns away from me and grabs bigger bandages out of the First-Aid kit.

"Oh, ok," I say. I take off my shirt and place it neatly folded beside me. "You didn't have to turn around you know." She looks back over at me.

"I know, I just thought it would make you more co- Whoa, you are really built." Francis says looking at my stomach. I look down and see deep scrapes close to my chest.

"The cuts aren't that big, so that is a relief" Francis says. She slowly wraps them in bandages.

"They aren't big? Well, I thought totally different."

"Try not to move. If there is anything like glass in the cuts it could go in deeper with more movement, we wouldn't want that."

Francis puts some Peroxide on a cotton pad and dabs it lightly on my chest.

"I never thought I would be in your room with my shirt off," I say. She looks up at me. "I mean like getting fixed up. I mean I never thought of it any other way. Wait, uh, I shouldn't have said that. I just thought I would never be in your house, let alone your room." Francis looks back down and finishes with the Peroxide and bandages me up.

"I think that will do it." Francis says, closing the First-Aid kit.

"Thanks for the help" I say.

"No problem. Just promise me, don't do anything active for the next couple of days. You could make it worse."

"Got it," Francis gets up and puts the First-Aid kit on her desk. "Why did you help me?"

"What?" Francis turns around.

"Why did you stop George from beating me up?"

"Well," she comes and sits beside me, closer than we were before. I can feel her warmth press against my body. "The whole thing with George and I isn't going so well. You looked really hurt. George is just a real pain in the ass."

"Would you still do it if you and George were in a healthy relationship?"

"Of course, I consider you as a friend."

I thought about it for a moment. We have never really talked. The only time we got close to having a real conversation was when the Laurens' were over for dinner.

"Isn't he always an asshole?" I try to stay on topic: George being a complete asshole.

"Do you remember when we were in, like, grade six? We always use to hang out."

"Whatever happened with us being that close?"

"I remember perfectly. It was when Theodosia and Aaron Burr moved. They always lived in the area, but she went to the private school across town. Once they moved she couldn't go there anymore. Once she came to our school you started hanging out with her and I started hanging out with George."

I can't believe I didn't remember that. Now that she says it though, I remember everything. I have always felt something for Francis, than Theodosia moved. We have seen each other before, but once I got to know her I started liking her. It wasn't until grade nine when I asked her out. At first she rejected me, than by grade ten _she_ asked me out.

"Anyway," I say. "You were talking about George?"

I hate bringing up my past; Mom and Dad use to fight a lot, mostly about money and me. I remember the first time I saw Mom cry, it was horrible. I actually remember, the first and only time I saw Dad cry. I shake the memories out of my head.

"Yeah, I think I am going to break up with him. He just really isn't the guy for me. Phillip, can I tell you something esle?"

"Go ahead." Francis sighs and rubs her hands on her thighs.

"I have always liked you. When Theodosia moved it broke my heart to see you with her. Once I started hanging out with George my feelings for you died down, but ever since the day you beat up George last year my crush has come blooming back."

Last year I beat up George. Everyone was at a party and he was drunk. He was trying to pull Francis into a bedroom. I don't know what happened. I just punched, knocked him out. I just remember Francis crying and yelling at George to stop. My instincts to help her kicked in.

"Really?" I ask, bewildered. Francis turns away and blushes. I keep looking at her. She turns back around and seals her lips with mine. She quickly pulls away and stands up.

"I am so sorry. I am an idiot," Francis says. "Oh shit, Theodosia! God, what if something happens? What will happen if George finds out?" I stand up and go close to Francis.

"Francis calm down," I say. "You are not an idiot. You are far from idiocy." Francis turns around and looks up at me.

She goes on the tips of her toes and kisses me again. I wrap my arms around her waist and she wraps her arms around my neck. I hear a knock on the door. Francis pulls away. I sit on her bed and she opens the door a little bit. Mr. Laurens stands in the hallway.

"I have to go see Mr. Hamilton" he says. "I thought that I would bring Phillip with me." Francis looks at me and opens the door the rest of the way. Mr. Laurens looks at me for a moment. I hope his shocked expression is because of my wounds, but even I am not that dumb.

"Yeah, I fixed him up" Francis says. I grab my shirt and stand up. I slip it on.

"O-Ok," Mr. Laurens says. "Are you sure that is it?"

"Dad!"

"Just checking, I care for you."

I walk over beside Francis. "See ya."

"I will see you tomorrow." Francis says looking at Mr. Laurens. I walk out of the house and to Mr. Laurens' car with him. We back out and head down the street, slowly.

"Mr. Laurens?" I say looking at his blank expression. "It isn't what you think. She was just helping me." He looks at me then back at the road.

"I hope it is what it looked like" he replies.

"What?"

"I hope my daughter broke up with George Eaker and is now with you."

"Why?"

"George is not the nicest to Francis. Also I work with his father. Just between you and me, they are all dicks."

"That is true sir, but I am sorry to tell you that I am already in a relationship."

"With whom?"

"Theodosia Burr, sir."

"Well good luck telling Mr. Burr that you cheated on his daughter."

"I didn't cheat on her. Francis kissed me. That isn't cheating."

"I didn't know you kissed. I was just assuming, but anyway, I am glad she brought you home instead of George. Oh, and Phillip?"

"Yes sir?"

"Don't call me Mr. Laurens. It makes me sound old, call me John. The same goes with the 'sir' thing."

"Sorry sir, I mean Mr. Laurens, I mean John." He smiles at me. He pulls into the driveway. We get out of the car with it still running. We walk inside.

"I'm home! I brought someone!" I yell. Mom comes rushing to the door.

"Hello John," she says. "Alex will be with you in a minute." She looks over at me. "Phillip! What happened?" Mom touches the bandage on my cheek. I push her hand away.

"Nothing, I'm fine. Francis Laurens fixed me up," Mom looks at me. "I'm going up stairs. Thank you for the ride John." I shake his hand and head up the stairs. I walk down the left and hall the end. I open my door and close it behind me, locking it. I flop down on my bed and look at the ceiling. I close my eyes.

I wonder what Thea would think if she found out what I did. I can still taste Francis' lips on mine. I hear a chime from my phone. I take it out and check. An unknown number pops up. I check what the text says.

' _Hey Phillip. It's me Francis I got ur number from Thea'._

I roll onto my stomach and text her.

 _Me (right now): Hey, I want to tell u that I might break up with Thea._

I send it. She starts texting. The haunting ellipsis come up. I hear a knock on my door. I stand up and unlock it. I flop back down on my bed.

"Come on in!" I yell. The door opens revealing Mom. My phone chimes. I click it off and put it down beside me.

"What happened to you?" Mom asks. She comes into my room closing the door behind her. She sits on my bed. I sit up beside her.

"I said nothing happened" I say.

"Phillip, I don't ask a lot from you, your siblings or your father. I just want to know this one thing because you are not ok. Something did happen."

"Mom, you don't need to worry. I solved a problem. You don't need to get involved. Everything is over." She looks at me for a second than stands up. She opens the door then turns back towards me.

"If you want to talk I will be down stairs making dinner." I nod and she leaves. I grab my phone and check Francis' message.

 _Francis (one minute ago): Is it because of me? What I did?_

I turn my phone back off and put my hands together. I get up and bang my head against the wall. I keep it there and look at the ground. I punch the wall and drag my knuckles down it, listening to my skin rub against the wallpaper.

"Phillip!" I hear John (once of my annoying little brothers) yell from the other side of the wall. "Quit hitting the wall! I am trying to do my homework!" I back away from the wall and walk out of my room. I go down the hall and knock on Angelica's door.

"Angie, open up!" I yell. I hear her get up. She opens the door looking at her phone. She puts her phone in her pocket and looks up at me. Her face goes a ghostly pale.

"Phil! What happened to you?" She asks. I grab her hand and bring her into my room. I lock the door. I walk towards the end of my room and put my hand over my face. I instantly pull away, wincing.

"Are you just going to stand over there or are you going to tell me the happened?!" She yells at me. I turn to Angie and walk over to her.

"I will tell you, but you have to swear not to tell Mom anything" I say.

"I never tell anyone anything. I don't tell Mom the money I steal from her every week just like I don't tell you about the girl I am dating. Shit, forget what I said."

"Ok, the money I don't care about, but you dating a girl thing we will get back to." Anggie presses her index finger on my lips and shushes me.

"As I said 'forget what I said.'" I push her fingers off my lips.

"George Eaker beat me up."

"Why? She asks touching my face.

"Because I looked at Francis Laurens."

"Well that was a real dick move."

"Yeah, anyway Francis stopped him and took me back to her house. She put some bandages on me then she kissed me," Angie's face goes pale again. "You still with me Angie?"

"Yeah, keep going." She says like nothing happened.

"Anyway, she said she was going to break up with George because he is a dick. After I kissed Francis all I can think about is breaking up with Thea. We have been fighting and not communicating well. What do you think I should do?"

"Kick Thea to the curb!" I stare at Angie blankly; her eyes are hyped up with adrenaline.

"Do you think before you speak?" I ask.

"Most of the time my brain is asleep so my mouth does all the work." She adjusts a pencil on my desk.

"What is your real opinion?"

"Kiick hheerr ttoo ttthhhheee ccccuuurrrbbb." Angie says very slowly. I turn Angie around and grab her hips. I lead her to the door of my room. I open it and put her out into the hallway.

"Thanks for the advice" I say politely. I close my door and lock it again. I sit down on my bed and grab my phone. I answer Francis' text.

 _Me (right now): you did nothing wrong. I have been thinking about it for a little while. I am not sure if she is thinking about it though._

I wait for her answer.

"Kids!" Mom yells. "Come get dinner!" I slip my phone into my pocket. I walk down stairs and turn left into the dining room.


	2. Chapter 2

The dining room is so loud. I look around. Only Alexander, William, Eliza and I are there. I go sit down in my spot.

We each have our own spots at the table. Dad sits at the end of the table closest to the kitchen while Mom sits at the other end. On Dad's left side is the side I sit on. Beside me is Eliza, William and then John beside Mom. On his right side sits Angie, Alexander and James. Today Eliza is sitting in Dad's chair.

"Eliza," Angie says walking into the room. "That is Dad's chair, get out." She slumps down into her chair.

"No!" Eliza yells. I take Angie's hand from across the table.

"Dad isn't going to be here," I say. "He is with John."

"Who?" Angie questions.

"Sorry, Mr. Laurens."

"When did you start calling him John?"

Mom walks in carrying a platter with a lid on it. She puts it on the middle of the table and takes it off. A smoking steak is on it.

"We are having steak and potatoes," Mom says. "Youngest goes first. I will serve Eliza and John. Phillip? Could you help the others if they need it?"

"Sure" I say. Angie groans and squiggles like a worm in her chair.

"Mom?" Angie groans. "Youngest always goes first. Why can't Phillip and I go first this time?"

"Hey, what about me?" Alexander asks. "I'm in high school! I'm old enough!"

"You just entered grade nine," Angie says. "You are still a little baby."

"Hey! I am two years younger than you! I disserve better!"

"Angelica, Alexander! Stop fighting! If your father was here, you wouldn't be having this conversation," Mom says. "Plus, you guys eat faster than your younger siblings. You will all be done around the same time."

"If Dad was here, he wouldn't care!" Angie yells at Mom.

"Angie!" I say. "Mom told us to stop! Dad isn't here so listen to Mom! We have this conversation every night that Dad isn't here!"

"He's gone pretty much every night." Angie whispers under her breath. Mom looks at her then puts some potatoes and a small piece of steak on Eliza's plate. I close my eyes and pray for the moment Mom dismisses us from the table.

"What happened to you?" Alexander asks half way through dinner.

"I got beaten up." I say. I stab my fork into a piece of steak then I cut it.

"By who?" James asks.

"You wouldn't know him."

"I know everyone."

"His name is George," Angie says. I look across the table and smile.

"Why did he beat you up?" John asks.

Mom puts her fork and knife on the table, louder than it should have been. "Eat your diner boys. Don't bother your brother."

I can tell she is really worried about me, especially since I wouldn't tell her what happened to me and I am telling my annoying younger brothers.

Angie and I are done our dinner before everyone else is and we wait for Mom to dismiss us from the table of death.

"Mom?" I say. "I have homework. I have to get it done." I start standing up.

"Sit down Phillip," Mom says, pointing at my chair. "You can do it later." I slump back down into my chair.

"Nice try." Angie says sarcastically. I stick my tongue out at her like a five year old would.

"Mommy!" Eliza cries. "I don't want my potatoes!"

I look over at Mom who is helping William cut his steak. "Phillip, could you help your sister?" Mom looks over at me. She looks really stressed. Dad hasn't been here for dinner in about a month. Mom has been taking care of us all from three o'clock until ten o'clock all by herself.

I give Mom a fake smile and turn to face Eliza. "You don't like your potatoes?" I try to sound as nice as I am going to get right now.

"No! Get them off my plate!" Eliza screams.

"Eliza, you have to eat your potatoes. If you don't, you won't grow up big and strong, like me." I flex my muscles. Eliza looks at me blankly.

"You aren't strong! You got beaten up!" She yells. "Eat your potatoes!" she grabs a slice of a potato and throws it at me. Angie laughs pointing her finger at me.

 _Great, even my little sister is beating me up._ I think.

"Eliza, don't do that!" I yell. She grabs more slices and throws them at me. "Eliza, I'm serious! Stop throwing potatoes! Angie quit encouraging her!" I stand up. "I can't take this anymore!" I start to walk towards the stairs. Mom grabs my arm.

"Phillip, sit down. Thank you for trying to help your sister. I will take care of it. Just come back to the table, please." She looks so worried and stressed. I walk back to my chair and slump down.

"When do you ever sit like me?" Angie asks, sitting up straight like I do.

"I can't stand this anymore," I say. "I can't stand this family. They are going to drive me into an Asylum."

Mom looks at me while picking up potato slices. She gets up and walks into the kitchen to throw them out. She comes back and stands beside Eliza who is still fighting to eat her potatoes. I close my eyes.

"Uh, Phil?" Angie asks.

"What do you want?" I ask keeping my eyes closed.

"Your pocket is buzzing." I open my eyes. She is pointing at me. I take my phone out. Francis is calling.

"Mom, I have to take this" I say. She nods and I run out of the room. I stand at the bottom of the stairs and answer the call.

"Hey Francis!" I say.

"You seem awfully excited," Francis says. Her voice is so soft and joyful.

"Well, you dismissed me from dinner."

"Sorry."

"No, you don't understand. I am glad you did that," I say. "I have six siblings. They are all younger than me. Dinner is like two lions fighting over a piece of meat."

"You welcome, I guess. Anyway the real reason I am calling you is because I don't want you to break up with Thea just because I kissed you."

"I said already. We have been fighting and not really getting along."

"Ok, I just wanted to hear the tone of your voice, just in case you were lying. People get in fights though."

"I would never lie to you Francis. I just don't enjoy hanging out with her as much anymore," there is a long pause between us. "When are you going to break up with George?"

"Probably tomorrow. In front of all his asshole friends. It will be really funny." I chuckle a bit.

"That will be funny," I think for a moment. "Wait, what if he thinks you broke up with him because of me? He will beat the living shit out of me."

"Phillip, it will be fine. I will stay with you," Francis says sounding peaceful. "When are you going to break up with Thea?"

"I don't know. Probably tonight or tomorrow. I will keep you updated," I look into the dining room where Angie is trying to help Mom with Eliza's potato fanatic. "I have to go. My sister is mad and throwing potatoes at everyone."

Francis laughs on the other end. "Good luck with that. I will talk to you later."

"Ok, bye." I hang up the phone and walk back into the dining room.

"Do you need any help Mom?" I ask.

"I'm fine," she says. Eliza throws another potato at Mom. "Kids, you are dismissed, except you Eliza. You and I are going to eat the rest of our dinner." Everyone gets up and starts flooding out of the room.

"Wait!" Mom yells. "James and John, you guys can go play your videogames upstairs."

"Yes!" Both of them exclaim, running up the stairs like two elephants.

"Alexander? Could you take William into the living room and watch him for me?"

"Sure thing Ma" Alexander says, taking William's hand.

"Angelica, could you start the dishes?" Angie groans and walks into the kitchen. "Phillip? Could you take out the garbage?"

"Sure." I say walking to the door.

"Phillip?" Mom says. I look back at her. "Could you mow the lawn too?"

"Sure thing." I say grabbing my sweater of a hook. I slip it on a walk outside.

The air is cool and smells like dead leaves, the perfect smell for November. I walk to the garbage can; it has a bag in it. I shut the lid and bring it to the end of the driveway.

I walk back inside and into the kitchen to grab the garbage bag under the sink. I open the cupboard.

"Whoa!" Angie says moving out of my way, spraying water onto my thick curls. "Perv!" She flicks more water at me. Soapy water lands on my forehead.

"Perv? I wasn't being a pe- ugh!" I say going on the knees. "I was grabbing a garbage bag! I wouldn't do that, it is just weird."

"That's what I thought. Next time warn me ahead of time."

I stand up and grab the garbage bag. I slam the cupboard door and walk outside. I drop the bag at the end of the driveway. I hear a rip and garbage spills across the driveway. I curse under my breath and start kicking pieces of garbage over to the bag. I stuff them back in the hole and put the hole up towards the sky so it won't fall out again.

I feel my phone buzz on the side of my leg. I take it out. It is a text from Francis. I start walking up the driveway to the shed with the lawnmower in it.

"Phillip?" I look behind me. Thea is standing at the end of the driveway. I walk over to her, slipping my phone in my pocket.

"Hey," I say. "What are you doing here?"

"Why did Francis want your number?" Thea asks. Her voice is quiet and shaky.

"She just wanted to keep in contact with me, why?" I can tell her yet, I just can't.

"That isn't what she told me," Oh shit! What did Francs tell Thea? Oh, shit, oh shit, oh shit "She told me you got beaten up by George. Why didn't you tell me?" She touches the side of my face. I wince and push her hand away.

"I can't tell every little thing I do." My voice growing louder with each word.

"Maybe not everything, but when you get beaten up and run off with another girl you should tell me! I _am_ your girlfriend." Those words sent a mental blow to my face.

"I only went there because I was hurt!" I begin to yell now. I back away from Thea just a little.

"If you run off with a girl other than me you should at least tell me we are still together!" I stand still, avoiding eye contact. "We still are together, aren't we?" Her voice is really shaky. "Aren't we?" Tears prick the sides of her eyes and she lowers her head.

"Thea, that is what I have been meaning to tell you," I pause. "I think we should break up. We fight too much and we don't get along."

"Couples fight!" Thea cries. I can't even look at her right now. "We can work this out! We just need some time to figure this ou-."

"I have fallen for someone else!" I yell. Tears are spilling out of Thea's eyes. "I have fallen in love with someone else!"

"It is Francis isn't it?" I still don't look at her. "Isn't it!?" I look down at her small frame.

"Yes I have! Now could you please go?!" I choke on tears.

I do still like Thea; everyone will always have the same feelings for the people they break up with. It is an attraction that pulls you in and you can't back away even if you try. Though, Francis' bond with me is so much stronger. I don't know how it is possible, but it is.

Thea turns around and walks down the driveway. She starts to run down the street. I look down at my feet again and stand there for a moment. A hand touches my shoulder. I turn around seeing Mom standing behind me.

"Are you ok?" Mom asks. She keeps her hand on my shoulder.

"I'm fine" I say walking towards the shed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey! I am really happy that people are liking my story. I am sorry because I never put trigger warnings on my first chapter. Here we go!**

 **Trigger Warnings: Bullying (Verbal, Physical)**

* * *

My alarm screeches in my ear once again. I shut the alarm off and lay in bed for a minute.

Thea and I broke up. Francis is going to break up with George today. He is going to beat my ass. I slowly get out of my bed and walk out of my room. I turn right and walk to the bathroom. I knock on the door.

"Go to hell!" Angie screams from in the bathroom. I back away from the door. I walk back to my room and close the door.

I open my drawer and take out a dark blue shirt and loose jeans. I can go a day without a shower. I brush my hair and leave it down.

I grab my backpack off of my desk chair and grab a black hoddie. I slip it on and go down stairs where Mom is helping Eliza and William put on their backpacks. I go past them and open the door.

"Honey," Mom says stopping me. I turn around and look at her. "Could you wait with Eliza and William for the bus?"

"Sure thing," I say. "Come on guys." I grab an elastic out of my pocket and do up my hair. Mom kisses Eliza and William on the forehead. They follow me out the door.

"Philly!" Eliza says. She clings onto my leg like a leach. We get to the end of the driveway.

"William, take my hand," I say holding my hand out to him. "I don't want you getting hurt." William takes my hand.

I remember Mom holding my hand and saying the same thing to me on my first day of Kindergarten. She gripped my hand tightly, not wanting to let go of her first born. Angie was in Dad's hands. Mom and Dad were standing on each side of me. I was so simple then. The house was so quiet, though we lived in a different house then. It was smaller and only had two bedrooms.

I see the bus in the horizon. It slowly rolls up to our driveway. Eliza lets go of my leg and William with my hand. They hop onto the bus and wave me good-bye. I smile at them and start walking to the school.

My bandages are starting to fall off. I see a garbage can up ahead at a park. I take off the bandages and throw them in the garbage can.

I turn down a couple of streets to reach the school. Buses roll in and people squeeze through the doors. I look at all of the people hanging out. Most of them are couples. Almost all of them are looking at me, probably because of my uncovered injuries. Someone puts their hands over my eyes.

"Guess who?" The hands leave and Francis is hanging onto my shoulders. I turn around. She is wearing a white shirt with a gray sweater over it with a green skirt reaches down to her ankles. Her strawberry blonde hair is swept to one side, covering her right shoulder.

"You're beautiful" I whisper. She goes closer to me. She grabs the collar of my shirt and puts my lips on hers. We let go and walk into the school. She has her body so close to mine. I keep my arm around her waist.

When we enter the school everyone looks at us. I don't care if they look. I feel ten feet tall right now. I look down at Francis who smiles from ear to ear. She covers her face with her hair.

"I'm guessing you broke up with George" I say.

Francis giggles a little. "No."

"No?" I echo.

"That is what I said. I want him to see me with you. George will still listen to me. He is like a stray cat. Once you feed them, they follow your every command. He won't lay a finger on you." My legs suddenly feel like Jell-O.

"I have to go get a text book from my locker," I say. "I will see you later." She smiles and let's go of my arm. We walk down opposite halls.

I walk down the hall and to my locker. I open it and grab my text book. I put it in my bag and slam my locker closed.

As I walk to class I see George pass. I hold my breath, not wanting to make a sound, my heart pounds fast. He grins and passes. I exhale and hold my chest.

I walk into class. Francis sits in the back at her desk. I sit down at my desk, which is at the front. The teacher walks into the room.

He is tall with broad shoulders. His shirt is tight on his chest which makes him look more built then he actually is. Now I know why my Dad tells me to buy loose shirts. I look very stupid.

"Good morning class, let's be-"The teacher is cut off by George walking into class. "Mr. Eaker, you are late."

"Sorry sir. I was helping," George pauses. "I was helping Mr. Lafayette with the printer."

"Mr. Lafayette?"

"Yeah, you know. Oui, Oui, mon ami je ma'pelle Laffayette," the whole class starts laughing. "The French teacher, his name is Mr. Lafayette."

"Sit down Mr. Eaker and quit making excuses." As he walks past me the smell of Axe body spray and pot sticks on him. George sits down beside Francis.

* * *

I look up at the clock. We have been in class for only twenty minutes; we have twenty minutes to go. I start to fill out a question on a worksheet.

"I will be right back" the teacher says. He walks out of the room. Of course everyone starts talking. I keep my eyes on my worksheet. I fiddle with my pencil between my fingers trying to figure out the question.

"Hey, what's wrong babe?" George asks. I don't look back.

"Don't 'babe' me" Francis says.

"What the hell is your deal?" I hate hearing George talk like that to Francis.

"George, you are being an asshole." I hear people move their chairs. It is getting harder and harder not to turn around.

"What did you say to me you whore?"

"You are a fucking asshole. I am breaking up with you."

"You can't do that!"

"Well, I just did."

"Who is the guy? I know there is someone else to protect your ass." My heart pounds and my hands start to get wet from sweat.

"That guy, really?" She must have pointed at me or something. I start to bounce my knee. The teacher walks back in. Everyone turns back to their pages and pretend nothing happened. I feel my phone buzz on my leg. I hear a couple chimes and rings from different phones.

When class is over I jump out of my seat and walk fast down the hall. I look back, no George. I keep walking until I get outside.

People gather around the field watching soccer practices. I walk over to a corner and hide in it. I know George is coming from me. I see a shadow that is built like George. More shadows crowd around the first one. George goes around the corner and spots me. He grabs the collar of my shirt and collides his fist into my jaw. I would have dropped to the ground, but he keeps a tight grip on my shirt.

"You think you can make a fool out of me!" George yells. He brings my face up to his and punches me in the gut. "I want to see the pain in your face. I want to see you cower. I will stop fighting you when you're dead." He pushes my back to the wall.

"You will never see me cower away" I say. My stomach burns from the cuts from him yesterday. He grabs my temples and smashes the back of my head against the wall. I can feel hot blood stream down my head and onto my neck, it runs quickly. Black spots start to cloud my vision. George punches me in the mouth. I can feel blood rise from the back of my throat like if I was puking steaming, hot, red water; which I probably will.

"You gonna cower away now!" George yells than punches my ribs. I clutch my hands on my stomach. He lets my shirt go and I drop to the ground. He rapidly kicks my stomach.

"What is going on over here?" I hear someone say. His voice is so beautiful. George stops for a moment then runs off. I lie on my back and stare at the clouds. My French teacher/ Dad's friend, Mr. Lafayette comes and kneels by my side. I close my eyes and feel blood pour from the back of my head.

I sit in a chair outside the principal's office with a pack of ice on the back of my head. I watch people look at me as they pass. They look shocked then they look away. I see Francis run down the hallway over to me. I stand up and she hugs me. I wince and she pulls away.

"I am so sorry I wasn't there like I said" Francis says.

"Francis it is fine. It wasn't your fault. You did what you felt was right" I say. She lets go of me and takes out her phone. She clicks a couple of times then shows me a video. Someone recorded George and Francis when they broke up. She puts her phone away.

"He saw this, that is the reason he beat you up. He knew it is you" Francis says. She looks down at her feet. I rub the back of my neck and immediately pull my hand away, wincing. "Are you ok?" Francis sounds so much like Mom right now.

"It hurts a lot." I say sitting back down. The office door opens. Principal Reynolds stands in the doorway."

"Phillip Hamilton?" Mr. Reynolds says. His voice is very deep. I stand up and walk into the office looking at Francis as Mr. Reynolds closes the door. "Sit please." I sit down in a chair in front of his desk. "Who did this?"

The simplest question in the world. I sit silent for a second. I don't want to tell him, George will defiantly beat me up again. "Mr. Hamilton?" I sigh and close my eyes.

"I don't want to say" I say.

"The only way to help you is to let me know who did this." I feel like crying right now. I stop the tears and open my eyes.

"George, George Eaker."

"Why did he do this?"

"I don't know." Mr. Reynolds writes something on notepad then looks up at me.

"I called your mother. She is coming to pick you up."

Oh shit, Mom is going to worry so much. This is going to be painful seeing her pain. Even if she doesn't show it, I can see it in her eyes. I can tell people's emotions very well.

Mr. Reynolds stands up and walks to the door. I follow him out into the hallway. Francis is sitting in the chair I was just sitting in outside the office. When she sees me she stands up right away. Mr. Reynolds walks back into his office and closes the door.

"What did he say?" Francis asks.

"I'm getting picked up. My Mom is going to blow her top when she sees what happened to me." I sit down in the chair and cross my arms. Francis sits beside me.

"Go back to class," I say. "I don't want you to get in trouble."

"I'm not leaving you." Francis says taking my hand. I lace my fingers with hers. She leans her head on my shoulder. I close my eyes and try to save the moment. We sit and wait.

After a while Mom comes speed walking down the hallway. I notice her and stand up. She wraps her arms tightly around my body. She lets go and holds out my hands in front of her. She looks right into my eyes.

"Was it George again?" Mom says, tears pricking in the corners of her eyes.

"Yeah, I am fine though" I say.

"Please, don't scare me like this ever again."

"I won't."

"I am so glad you are ok Phillip."

"Mom, I told you that you don't have to worry," I say releasing my hands from hers. Mom looks over at Francis. "Mom, this is Francis Laurens."

"I know who she is," Mom says. I get a little scared. "You are John Laurens' little girl." Mom shakes Francis' hand. I chuckle a bit. The principal's door opens. Mr. Reynolds walks out.

"Thank you for picking Phillip up" he says.

"No problem" Mom says. It is actually a big problem because she is a mother of seven with a busy husband. She is always on the go.

Mom and I start walking down the hall.

"Phillip?" I turn around. Francis stands in the middle of the hall with her hands clasp together in front of her. I smile and walk back to her. I give her a little kiss and jog back to Mom.

We walk out of the school and into the van. It is a black Dodge Grand Caravan. It has seven seats so all of my siblings can fit in here. Dad has a car I usually go in. Mom starts to drive away from the school.

We sit in silence the whole way home; most of the time I was asleep against the cold window. It felt really nice on the back of my head.

We pull up to our driveway and Mom turns the car off. I slowly get out and walk into the house. Mom walks even slower behind me.

"I haven't heard it quiet in here for years," I say. I realize that my voice echo's off the walls. I take my sweater off and put it on a chair. "Where is Dad?" I turn around to Mom who is picking up my sweater, putting them on a hook.

"He is at work," Mom says. "He is should be home soon." I look around. I can literally do whatever I want. I look at the stairs.

"I am going to go take a nap." I start to walk upstairs.

"I am going to come wake you up in about an hour, just in case you have a concussion."

I nod and run into my room. I close the door and put my backpack on the ground. I lie on my bed and look up at the ceiling. I sit up and look around my room.

My ceiling is slanted because my room is on the right side of the house. My bed is pushed against the right side of my room. A window sits above my bed. My desk sits across from my bed. A closet is at the end of the room with a dresser is beside the closet.

I lie back down and close my eyes. I quickly fall asleep.

I wake up to the deep growl of Dad's voice. I slowly get up and open the door just a little. I sit back down on my bed and listen.

"Eliza I can't handle you doing this anymore!" Dad yells. "You are mothering him to much!"

"I am his mother! I am supposed to take care of him!" Mom yells. I don't hear Mom yell that often. She is kind of scary.

"He is a young man; he has to learn to take care of himself!"

"I make him to so much work around the house! He is doing it because you are never here!"

"He needs to learn to live with it!"

"Just because you didn't grow up with anyone to love you doesn't mean that you think Phillip should live the same way!" I hear silence. I have never heard Mom this mad before. "I am going up stairs to check on Phillip."

I get off my bed and close my door. I lie back on my bed and pull my blankets over me. I turn around so Mom can't see that I am awake. I hear the door open slightly. I feel the weight of Mom sitting on the side of my bed. She rubs my side.

"Honey, wake up" Mom says. I open my eyes and turn around to look at her. I smile as she rubs her thumb over the scrapes under my lip. I sit up and look at her.

"I'm going to go take a shower" I say getting up. Mom and I walk out of my room. I walk down to the bathroom while Mom walks down stairs. I walk into the bathroom and close the door. I look at myself in the mirror. My face is full up scrapes and dried up blood.

I slip my clothes off and head into the shower. I turn the shower head on. I step back so water doesn't go on me. My naked, cold body stands out of the way of water stream from the shower head. I step forward letting the steaming, hot water fall down my body.

I hear Mom and Dad start to yell again. I turn the shower up, making it hotter, blocking out the sound of their voices. I push my hands onto the wall and close my eyes. The water falls off my neck, making my curls fall on each side of my face. I watch dried up blood fall from my neck, down my hair and down the drain.

I grab the bottle of shampoo and put some in my hands. I put my fingers through my hairs. I feel my fingers go to the open spot on the back of my head. I feel the shampoo go deep into my cut. It stings so badly. I let the water run down my hair.

I turn the tap off. I sit down and put my knees to my chest. I get chills through my body. I hear a door open and close; someone yells something. It is probably Angie because her footsteps up the stairs are incredibly loud. It sounds like she is hoping on each stair.

I open the shower curtains and step out. The mirror is totally fogged up. I wipe the mist off with the side of my arm. I grab the towel and wrap it around my waist. The bathroom door flings open.

"What the hell?!" I say running and closing the door.

"Sorry," Angie says. "Where were you after school?" I tie my towel up and open the door just a bit, so my head pokes out.

"I got beaten up again." I look down. I can't see Angie's shoes from her long, loose jeans that cover them.

"Who beat you up?" She asks.

"George Eaker."

"Why?" I look down the hall. Mom or Dad isn't around.

"Did you see the video of Francis breaking up with him?" I whisper.

"Everyone saw it, why?" I close my eyes. "You are the one that she is dating now?" I open my eyes and nod.

"Wait," she says. "You are dating Thea."

"No, she came to the house last night and I broke up with her."

"So that conversation we had last night," for a second Angie looks deep in thought. "You actually listened to me, Angelica Hamilton's advice?"

"Yes, now could you please go? I don't have any clothes on."

"Sure, I will be in my room if you need me." Angie points down the hall. I smile as she walks away.

I go back into the bathroom and close the door. I look at the mirror which has fogged up again. I sigh and rub the mist off again.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Thank you so much for the likes and follows. I have finished writing this fanfiction. I still have a couple chapters I have to post, and they will probably be daily. Anyway, I have already started writing my next fanfiction. It is Mullette for the fans out there. I am probably going to take some time before I post that one.**_

 _ **I would post on weekends, but I don't have internet at home and I can only post at school. It is really quick and I have to make sure none of my teachers catch me. Whatever, let's just get into this chapter!**_

 _ **Trigger Warnings: Panic Attack**_

* * *

I open my eyes. My curls have fallen over my eyes. I turn over and grab my phone on the ledge next to the window. The time reads 6:46am. I put my phone down. I slap my head down on my pillow. I immediately sit up and wince. I remember George's fight with me.

I get out of bed and flick on my lamp sitting on my desk. I grab a pencil and take a hair elastic off it. I tie my hair in a loose ponytail and walk out of my room. John walks out of the bathroom and looks at me.

"What are you doing up so early?" He asks.

"I don't know, didn't feel tired." I say walking towards the stairs. I run down them and into the kitchen. I swing the door open. Mom is packing two lunches. I walk over to her. She puts a lid on a container and closes it. I grab the other container and its lid. She looks up at me.

"Good morning," Mom says. She looks back down at the container and puts it in Eliza's lunch bag. "You are up early."

"Why does everyone keep say-," I pause. "Never mind." Mom grabs the container out of my hands and closes the lid. "Sorry." She puts the container in William's lunch bag.

"Could you go wake up Angelica?" Mom zips up the lunch bags.

"You want me to wake her up? I don't think so" I say.

"Why not?"

"She is crazy. If I walk into her room she will probably throw a bong at me or something." Mom looks at me.

"She does not smoke Cannabis."

"I don't think you know her as well as I do."

"You don't have to go in her room. Just knock on the door and make sure she wakes up."

"Ok, it's my funeral." I start to walk out of the kitchen.

"She isn't going to kill you." I keep walking.

"I'm dying for you, you know that, right!" I walk out of the room and up the stairs. I stand at Angie's door and quietly knock.

"Angie?" I whisper putting my lips to the door. She doesn't answer. "Angie!" I yell pounding my fist on the door: still nothing.

"If you want to wake her up, you have a death wish" Dad says. I turn around. Dad closes the door to his and Mom's room. He is wearing a blue and green plaid robe. His hair stay's down and not brushed. His flip flops squeak as he walks past me.

"I know," I say. "Mom is making me. I never asked for this."

"You aren't going to wake her up without going in her room."

"I told Mom that, but she didn't listen." Dad turns around to me and shrugs. He turns back around and walks down the stairs.

I look back at Angie's door like it will lead me to my death. I put my hand on the handle and slowly open it. I poke my head through.

"Angie?" I say. "Mom wants me to wake you up." I walk in and look around.

Her room is dark. Posters of weird anime girls hang on the walls. Blue and green lava lamps sit on a table in the corner of her room. The one window is blocks out the sun with a dark curtain. She sleeps on her bed facing the wall. I open the curtains to wake her up. I look at Angie; she doesn't move. The room doesn't light up.

I look back at the window. It is tinted very dark. I unlock her window and open it. Angie turns around. She looks at me and screams, I scream too. She grabs something off of her side table and throws it at me.

"Angie, it's me!" I yell, keeping my arms up to block my face. She has unlimited objects and keeps throwing them at me. They sting my bruises and cuts on the side of my arms. They suddenly stop. I slowly put my arms down. Angie isn't in her bed anymore. I look at the door that remains a crack open. I start walking to it. I feel something hit the back of my head. I fall to the ground.

"What the hell?!"

I open my eyes. Angie's room is lit. I look behind me. Mom and Dad stands in the doorway. I sit up and look around. Angie stands with a microscope in her hands.

"What the fuck are you doing in my room?!" Angie yells.

"Angelica Hamilton!" Mom yells. "Watch your language!"

I push myself up. "I was told to wake you up." I groan.

"Not to go in my room asshole!" Angie puts the microscope down on her desk.

"Angelica!" Mom says. "Get ready for school. Phillip, let's go downstairs and get some ice for your head." I look at Angie and walk out. Mom, Dad and I walk down stairs. Dad sits in the dining room while Mom and I walk into the kitchen. She grabs an ice pack out of the freezer and hands it to me. I put it on the back of my head.

"I told you not to send me up there," I say.

"I told you not to go in her room." I look at her.

"You got me there, but she wasn't waking up." William and Eliza walk into the room with their backpacks on. Mom walks out of the kitchen with them. I walk out behind her.

"I guess I will miss homeroom." I say. Mom turns around and stops me.

"You aren't going anywhere. You are staying home; I don't want you going to school knowing George is there." She turns back around and walks out of the house with William and Eliza. I sit on my chair beside Dad.

"I don't know how she does it." Dad says. His eyes stay on his newspaper. I take the ice off my head and put it on the table. Alexander and James walk down stairs laughing. They both look at me.

"Why aren't you getting ready?" Alexander asks.

"I'm staying home" I say. I pick up the ice pack to show it to them.

"What?!" James asks. "Dad, can I stay home?"

"No, go get John and go wait for the bus." Dad says pointing at the stairs. James groans and runs up stairs. Alexander walks over to me and touches the scrap between my eyebrows. I push his hand away.

"Ow! What was that for?!" I yell.

"Eaker did that, didn't he?" I look over at Dad who keeps reading the paper.

"Yeah" I look up at Alexander.

"You are the other guy?" He asks. This time Dad's eyes look up at me.

"Yeah" I sigh. Alexander laughs.

"Good luck surviving the rest of grade twelve." He walks away and out the door. I get up and walk to my room before Dad can say anything.

As I walk up the stairs I pass James and John. I walk to the top where Angie stands. "Sorry, did I hurt you bad?"

"No, I will be ok." I walk to my room. I close the door behind me and sit on the bed. I grab my phone and call Francis.

I keep my ear up to the phone for a little while until the ringing stops. I look at my phone. I throw it at my door. I can't help but worry about Francis. I don't know if George will be at school, but I don't want him to go near her. I lie down and slowly fall back to sleep.

I open my eyes and hear yelling voices, though it is two male voices. I walk to my door and pick up my phone. 11:24am. I have been asleep for around five hours. I open the door and walk to the top of the stairs. Dad and Mr. Burr are at the door yelling. I run to the other side of the hall and hide behind the wall. I slide my back down it and listen to the conversation.

"Alexander, you can't hide what you have done" Mr. Burr says.

"I did nothing wrong!" Dad yells.

"You stole government money! We all know what we know. The world will find out if you don't pay soon enough."

'We'? What does Mr. Burr mean by 'we'?

"Why wouldn't I want the world to know? Thomas, James and you are going to use it against me next time we go toe to toe, I know it!"

'We' must mean Thomas, James and Mr. Burr.

"Why would we use it against you?!"

"Get out of my house!" There is a long pause. "Get the fuck out of my house, Aaron!"

"You are as dumb as a brick Hamilton. Why do you always assume you are the smartest in the room?"

I hear the door open and slam close. The house is silent. I hear Dad hit the wall and start quietly crying.

Why the hell is he crying? What did he do that is that bad? Dad is a strong man; I have never seen him get sad nor cry.

I stand up and open a random door. I close it making it sound like I just got up. I walk down the stairs. Dad stands near the door, wiping his eyes.

"Are you ok Dad?" I ask.

"I'm fine," his voice is so shaky. "Did you just get up?"

"Yeah," I lie. "I was just going to get something to eat."

Dad takes his hands away from his eyes. They are all red and puffy; tears in the corner that he quickly wipes away. Dad smiles and walks into the dining room. I start slowly going down the stairs.

"Go get your coat," Dad says. "We are going out somewhere to eat, just the two of us." I walk over towards the door and grab my sweater off a hook. Dad walks out of the dining room and looks through his satchel that hangs on a hook.

"What are you looking for?" I ask.

"My wallet." Dad says.

"You need some help?"

Dad looks at me. "Go check in the living room, if you don't mind. I will check the kitchen; your brothers probably hid it somewhere." I nod and walk into the living room.

Toy trucks and dolls lay on the ground. I look at the coffee table. Alexander's magazines, James' school supplies and Moms sewing kit sits on it.

I scramble everything around looking for Dad's wallet: nothing.

I look on the couch. I put my hands in the little cracks between the cushion's and feel around; still nothing.

I try to think where one of my brothers would have hid it. _I don't tell Mom the money I steal from her._ Angie said to me. It must have been her!

I run upstairs and barge into Angie's room. I look in her drawers and side table; shoving books and pictures aside. A picture falls onto the ground. I bend over and pick it up. The picture is of Angie and another girl kissing. I turn the picture over.

In fresh, black marker that is defiantly not Angie's handwriting reads; _Angie, you are my world. Thanks for all the awesome nights together! I love you and I can't wait until you tell your family about us. Love you so much!_

 _Love,_

 _Susan Reynolds. P.S. I can't wait for our sleepovers every Wednesday night!_

I put the picture back into Angie's drawer. I wonder what it is like to be so scared to tell people about having a spouse that is the same sex. I put that thought out of my head. I have to concentrate on finding Dad's wallet.

 _This is Angie I'm thinking about! She wouldn't hide a wallet in an obvious place!_

I walk over to her table with the lava lamps on it. I open the drawer for a second and I can't even believe what I am seeing. I open the drawer a little more making sure this isn't what I think.

Two sharp knives and blood stained cloths scatter across the drawer. I take out a knife. I touch my finger tip on the sharp end, my skin slightly rips open, as if I got a paper cut. I pull my hand away from the knife.

If the tip of the blade can give me a small cut, what would it do if I put the pressure on my arm with the blade?

Tears fill in my eyes at the thought. I hear Dad walking up the stairs. I put the knife back in the drawer, close it and jump onto Angie's bed putting my hand between the bed frame and the wall.

"What are you doing?" Dad asks. I feel a leather square between my fingers. I pull my hand up holding Dads wallet.

"Found it!" I exclaim. I get off of Angie's bed and walk out of her room. I hand Dad the wallet and close the door behind me.

"How did you know it was there?" Dad asks.

"Don't get Angie in trouble, but she steals money from you guys sometimes" I say.

"I knew it. I caught her stealing money from your mother's purse. I said I wouldn't tell anyone. I never thought she was stealing from me too."

Dad and I walk outside and to Dad's Honda Civic. Dad doesn't want to get a nice car because of my siblings. All of them make a mess except me. Dad lets me ride in the car instead of anyone else. Plus, he doesn't like driving in a loud, crowed space.

Dad and I go into his car. Dad starts it and we head off. After about two minutes of silence I have to say something.

"Dad," I ask. Dad mumbles for an answer. "I lied."

"What do you mean?" Dad asks.

"This morning I told you that I got up to get something to eat." He looks at me quickly then back at the road. A car pulls out in front of us, just missing our front bumper. Dad lay's his hand on the horn and swears at the driver.

"Go ahead" Dad says.

"I woke up this morning from you and Mr. Burr yelling. Was it about Theodosia and I; our relationship?"

Dad pauses for a moment and sighs. "Um, yeah, kind of, he also said I owe him some money, but I didn't burrow any." Dad starts to sweat and his face goes red.

"I was just wondering. I don't want you and Mr. Burr to get into a fight because of something I did."

"This has nothing to do with you, Phillip. Adults fight too. Not much physical fighting, but verbal fighting."

 _I know he is lying,_ I think. _He just doesn't want to admit he is fighting my fights for me._

"Phillip?" Dad asks.

"Yeah" I say.

"You aren't hungry are you?"

"No and I am sorry I lied. You seemed like you want to hang out with me so I agreed. Since we are out we can go somewhere."

"I do want to spend some time with you; I am not hungry at all though. Since we are out I am going to stop by my office. I need to get something for Mr. Jefferson."

"Isn't he a Republican?"

"Yeah his is. I want to write something to him to make sure he has the full story and not just the lies and little information he gathered up. Plus, I think he may use it against me one day."

"What is the essay about?"

"It is just one big subject that you will hear about soon. It is a confession about the government."

"How they are all bastards?" I suggest.

Dad laughs. "It is about me, but yes, it is about the government being bastards." Dad starts tapping his fingers on the steering wheel and his breaths become heavier. He starts sweating even more.

"You want to listen to some music?" Dad says very fast. "I want to listen to some music." He turns on the radio and a song with a fun beat comes on. I try to listen to some of the lyrics. _'Moved in with a cousin, the cousin committed suicide.'_

Dad turns the station. "That song is horrible." He flips through more stations.

"Dad, are you ok?" I ask, touching his shoulder.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me." His voice is shaky again.

"Dad, pull over. I think you might being having a panic attack." Dad pulls the car to the side of the road.

After a couple minutes Dads hands start to loosen from the steering wheel and his breathing comes to a normal pace.

"Are you okay to drive now?" I ask. "I can drive if you want."

"I'm fine, I just hate traffic" Dad says. I look at the road, it is pretty normal for New York City. Dad is acting so weird. I get that he is nervous for is essay and everything, but I don't think he should have had a panic attack just by telling me about it.

Dad exhales deeply and drives back onto the road.

After a couple minutes of slow driving and a silent car, Dad pulls the car into a parking lot of a big building. We park in a space close to the building. Dad takes the keys out of the ignition, but doesn't move; he just stares at the light, gray building.

"Are you sure you are okay Dad?" I ask.

"Yeah, I am just really nervous about how people might to react to my essay. I don't...I don't know what they are going to think of me."

"I'm sure it isn't that bad Dad. Plus, you got your family to support you. Mom supports you in everything you do."

"Yeah, you are right," Dad says in monotone. "Your mother will support me."

I get out of the car then look back at Dad. "Are you coming?" Dad looks at me and nods quickly. He gets out of the car and locks it.

We walk into the building together. The lobby is big and empty. At the back of the room is a long desk that stretches across the wall. On both sides of the room leads down halls crowded with people. On the left side of the back wall is an elevator. The room is lit up from the sunlight beaming from the big windows near the exit door and from the roof.

Dad and I walk up to the front desk.

The woman behind the desk has long, black, straight hair. She wears a cream colored business suit.

"Good morning" Dad says.

"Good morning Mr. Hamilton," the woman says. "I thought you weren't coming in today?"

"I wasn't going to, but I forgot about the papers I need to send to Mr. Jefferson."

The woman looks at me. "You know, your father writes day and night like he is running out of time."

"Trust me," I say. "I know."

Dad smiles, then leads me to the elevator. "Thousands of people walk in and out of this building every day."

"Why? What do they do?" I ask.

"They all work for President Washington. Some work for the army, some of them go from meeting to meeting, some of them are coming in for job interviews and some of them coming in here for the free food."

The elevator doors open. A couple people are in there, but all of them walk out. Four people walk in with Dad and I. Dad presses the button that will take us to the tenth floor.

We wait for a little while, listening to the dinging of floors as we pass. The door opens on the tenth floor and Dad and I walk out.

The white walls blind me. We walk down a long, silent hall. Most of the rooms have blinds covering the windows. The odd room will have the blinds open and someone looking at a computer.

"Who are all of these people?" I ask.

"All these people have something to do with my job. They help me stay organized and help make this country a better one to live in." A door opens and a crowd of people walk out.

"Do those people work for you?"

"No, I have an extra board room. People come in and out for meetings. It doesn't matter if they are Republicans or not."

We get to the end of the hall where a skinny, pale man sits behind a desk looking at a computer screen. He looks up at us and seems shocked.

"Mr. Hamilton, you are here. You have today off, why did you come in?" The man rolls his chair to a filing cabinet and grabs a piece of paper. He rolls back to the front of his desk and hands Dad the paper.

"What is this?" Dad asks.

"A letter from Mr. Laurens, he dropped it off this morning." The man rolls his chair to another cabinet. He grabs a big file and puts it on his desk in front of Dad.

"Can you read this over? It is just some things that Mr. Jefferson sent me to give you. He wants you to read it over."

Dad takes the folder and walks to a door that has 'Mr. Alexander Hamilton' written on a shiny, gray plaque. "Mr. Lee?" Dad is still looking down at the folder.

"Yes?" Mr. Lee says.

"I am going to read this over and send my essay. Can you keep an eye on my son?"

"Yes sir." Dad walks into his office and closes the door. Mr. Lee stands up and goes around his desk and shakes my hand.

"I'm Charles Lee" he says.

"I'm Phillip Hamilton, Mr. Lee" I say.

"Please, call me Charles," he lets go of my hand. "Have you been here before?"

"No, I haven't."

"Your father says he has a bunch of kids, how many?"

"I have six siblings, so there are seven of us."

Charles whistles. "That is a lot of kids!"

"Yeah, it sucks since I am the eldest."

"That does sound like it sucks. Me, I am an only child."

I look over at Charles' computer. "What do you do here?"

"I am your father's secretary," Charles looks at his desk. He run behind it and grabs a sign that shows his name on it. He puts it beside his computer. "Not a lot of people come up here. I don't really need a sign, but your father got it for me. Plus, I do like my own name."

'Dad walks out of his office. He puts the folder on Charles' desk. "Mr. Lee, I am confused about this part here." Dad points to a spot on a piece of paper.

"It just means that you won't try to press charges if only specific parts of your essay are read." Charles says.

Dad nods. Usually Dad writes, like, one hundred page essays, so I get what it means. Dad signs the piece of paper and gives Charles a different piece of paper. "Could you send this to Mr. Laurens?" Dad smiles and clicks his tongue. Charles looks confused for a second, but then nods.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Lee" I say.

"Nice to meet you Phillip, hopefully we can see each other again. I enjoyed your company." Charles says. I smile and walk with Dad back down the hall and out of the building.

* * *

After about ten minutes of driving and talking, Dad and I are out of breath from laughing so much. I haven't seen Dad this happy in years; I like it.

"By the way," Dad says. "Don't tell your mother that I took you out today, she will flip. She really wanted you to rest."

"I kind of guessed that when she made me stay home." I say opening the glove box.

"What are you looking for?"

"Napkins, I was laughing so hard I started drooling." I find a dark colored napkin and wipe my face with it. I open the window to the car, bunch up the napkin and toss it out. Dad opens his window too. Even though it is November there is a nice, but not too cold breeze.

My curly hair blows in the wind. Some lose curls fly in front of my face hitting my eyes. I close my eyes and feeling my hair blow in the wind. I open my eyes again and look at Dad. His tied up; black, long hair blows in the wind like mine. Though his hair is majestic, mine is just one big knot of curly hair.

Before I know it, Dad is pulling the car back into the driveway. We roll up our windows and Dad takes the keys out of the ignition.

"Are you actually hungry this time?" Dad asks as we walk inside the house. We go into the dining room and Dad puts his keys on the table.

"Yeah," I say. "I can just make a sandwich or something." I walk towards the kitchen, but Dad stops me.

"I will make a sandwich. What kind do you want?"

"Ok, if you want to make a sandwich that bad I will take a bologna and mustard."

Dad shoots me with finger guns. "Go sit in the living room. I will be right out with the sandwiches." I walk into the living room while Dad heads into the kitchen. I take stuff off the couch and put it on the ground. I shove some stuff off the coffee table.

After a few minutes Dad walks in with two plates; one in each hand. He gives one to me and I put it on my lap. Dad sits on the couch making it squeak then clack.

"Oh shit," Dad says. "Stupid spring, we are going to need a new couch."

"Don't even try to buy a new one," I say, taking a bite out of my sandwich. "James and John will destroy it."

We sit in silence as we eat our too much mustard and not enough bologna sandwiches.

Dad looks around the room and the toys and clutter on the ground. "Do you know the show, The Walking Dead?"

"Yeah," I say, putting my plate on the table. "What about it?"

"This is where the Apocalypse started." Dad and I both laugh.

"This is what the gym looked like after Carrie trashes it." We laugh even harder this time. Dad and I both love cheesy horror shows and movies. I cherish these rare moments I get alone with Dad.

I hear the door open then close again. I lean forward to see who it is. Mom walks into the room. She is wearing a light blue dress with short sleeves.

"Is everything ok?" Dad asks.

"I just had a rough day," Mom says. "How are you feeling Phillip?" I stand up and walk to Mom.

"I am pretty good. How are you?"

"Tired." I wrap Mom in a hug.

"If you want to talk to me, I will be upstairs." I let go of Mom and leave her and Dad down stairs to talk.

 _ **I am sorry for this chapter. It seems like a filler, but just you wait. It is going to be important later. Just try to remember as much as you can from this chapter.**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Another chapter for you guys! This isn't a really important chapter, but I hope that you like it. As I said in my last chapter, I am going to post daily. Hopefully. As you know, I don't have internet at home, so I post at school. Anyway, enough of my chit-chat. Let's get into it!**_

* * *

"Phillip!" Mom calls me.

"Yeah!" I yell back.

"I have to get some groceries, could you wait for Eliza and William to come off the bus?!"

"I guess so!" I get out of bed and walk down stairs. Mom walks out of the door with me. She hops into the car while I go to the end of the driveway.

I sit down and cross my legs. I straighten my back up, making myself look like a proud child. She backs out of the driveway. I watch the van disappear into the distance.

I stand up and lean against the 911 sign. I take my phone out of my pocket and check the time: 15:08. William and Eliza should be here in a minute or two. I grip my phone in my hand.

I hear the roar of a bus engine. A big, yellow school bus drives by with the name of my high school on the side. I don't take it anymore. I live so close to the school. The only time I use the bus is when Mom makes me because it is raining, though I usually ask Dad to drive me.

Almost all the windows are open on the bus. I see a lot of George's friends in the back, but no George himself. Someone yells out the window at me.

"You disserved it, bastard!" He is probably talking about the fight between George and me.

"You are using the word 'bastard' wrong!" I have to yell. It bothers me so much when people use words in the wrong way. I get a glimpse of Theodosia looking at me. The bus goes by my house and turns onto a different street.

I see another bus come down the road. The red lights flash and the bus stops at the driveway. Eliza runs off the bus and takes a hold of my leg (she has something with grabbing people's legs). William walks off the bus and right past me. The bus leaves and we walk into the house. William drops his bag on the ground and runs upstairs. Eliza looks up at me. I kneel down to her height.

"Do you know if William is ok?" I ask.

"There were some guys picking on him today" Eliza whispers into my ear.

"I'm going to go talk to him. Go into the living room and play with your toys?"

"Can you play dollies with me later?"

"I will see what I can do." Eliza nods and I stand back up. I jog up the stairs and walk down to the end of the right hallway. I knock on the door.

"What is it?" William says. I can hardly hear him. He probably has his face pressed against his pillow. I use to do that when I got upset.

"It is me Phillip," I say. "Can I come in?" I hear movement. The door opens. William looks up at me rubbing his face with his arm.

"What do you want?"

"Eliza said some guys were picking on you today. Do you want to talk about it?"

William sniffles. "Not right now."

"Ok, if you want to talk about it you can come to me anytime all right?" William nods and closes the door. I sigh and walk down the stairs. I walk into the kitchen where I find Dad cutting up cucumbers.

"You are making diner?" I ask walking to his side.

"Your Mom has had a really stressful day. I offered to make dinner."

I watch Dad cut up more slices. "Are we having cucumbers for dinner?" I ask slowly. Dad does a sarcastic 'ha, ha, ha' laugh.

"Don't make me punch you." He holds his fists up to me.

"Oh, no, so scary!" I cry sarcastically. "What are we actually having for dinner?"

"Cut up vegetables and pizza. I am going to have to sneak some vegetables on the younger ones pizza."

"You are going to make pizza?"

"No, I ordered some. I am not _that_ dumb." Dad grabs a bell pepper and starts cutting it.

"Good luck." I walk out of the kitchen. John and James walk through the door.

"Did you guys have a good day?" I ask walking towards them. They look at each other.

"Yeah," John says. "I guess." I look at them.

"What are you guys hiding?" John walks next to me and puts his arm up on my shoulder looking at James. "You guys are starting to freak me out."

"I asked a girl out'' James says.

I laugh and hug him. "Did she say yes?" I ask pointing at James.

"She said yes!" All three of us hug. James and John start jumping up and down, so I join.

"I am going to pretend I just didn't see you guys acting like six year olds screaming over a lip syncing pop star" Angie says, closing the door behind her. She walks up the stairs and into her room.

John, James and I let go of each other. Alexander walks into the house. He trips over William's backpack that sits in the middle of the floor.

"William! Pick up your fucking backpack!" Alexander yells. He always swears at everyone, no matter what age. Mom and Dad don't care if we swear, as long as we don't swear at them or at our younger siblings.

William doesn't answer Alexander. He starts towards the stairs. I put my hand on his shoulder and stop him.

"Let go of my fucking arm, Phillip" Alexander says, trying to pull his arm away, but I keep a tight grip.

"William got picked on today by a couple of kids. Don't get mad at him, I will pick it up." Alexander pulls his arm away and walks upstairs. He doesn't say anything, so my words actually stuck in his head instead of going in one ear and coming out the next. That's new.

I pick up William's bag, put it on a hook then walk into the living room. The plates from the sandwiches Dad and I ate are still sitting on the table. I pick them up and bring them into the kitchen. I place them into the sink.

Dad is trying to cut up a celery stock and fails. I don't even bother trying to help him. I sit at the table and put my head on it. I hear the door open. I look up. Mom is carrying grocery bags to the kitchen. I bang my forehead on the table not caring. My head hurts so badly, but I try not to pay attention.

"What the hell are you doing?" I look up and see Angie standing in front of me. She sits down and crosses her arms. She stares at me and I laugh.

'What are you doing?" I ask.

"I'm observing you; I don't think you are really hurt."

"First of all, I am hurt. I got beaten up twice very badly, plus you hitting me in the head with a microscope. Second, I could have gone to school today, but Mom made me stay home to rest."

Angie stares at me for a moment than gets up and walks into the living room. Mom walks out of the kitchen. She grabs Dad's wallet off the table and takes a whole bunch of bills out of it. She slips it into her smock and walks away.

I get up and start to walk up the stairs when I hear the doorbell ring. I turn around and answer the door. A lanky, red haired man stands with three pizza boxes in his hands.

"Hey, I got your pizzas" the man says. He has a semi high pitched voice. He hands me the boxes. I look at his name tag that reads 'Samuel S.'. Mom comes to the door.

"Thank you, Phillip. Go put those on the table." Mom says. I walk into the dining room and put the boxes on the table. Dad walks out of the kitchen with a big plate of vegetables. He puts the plate on the table.

Dad and I open the first box of pizza and scatter some vegetables around the pizza.

"Dinner's ready!" Dad yells.

The two most dangerous words to say in the Hamilton house if you aren't careful. I hear opening doors and a stampede of footsteps. All six of my siblings crowd into the dining room in a big mob. They all start gathering around the pizza boxes like they are their God.

I slowly walk across the wall then turn the corner and I run up the stairs. I run into my room. I lie on my bed and listen to everyone yelling.

"Everyone, shut the fuck up!" Alexander yells.

"Don't use that language, Alexander!" Dad yells.

"Then give me fucking pizza!" I hear him scream. "Don't throw it at me, Angie!"

I turn over and press my face to my pillow. I take the sides of my pillow and put them up to my ears. I hear Mom yell something, then I hear nothing; absolute silence. I turn back around and sit up. I think Mom finally killed them.

I walk out of my room, down the stairs and into the kitchen very slowly. I am honestly scared to see what is going to happen. Mom and Dad are standing up giving everyone their pizza. I walk behind Angie and whisper into her ear. "What the hell did Mom say?"

Angie screams and punches me in the nose. She turns around. "Phillip! Don't scare me like that! I thought you would have learnt that this morning!" Angie stands up.

"I thought I did too, but I guess I didn't!" I yell holding my nose. "Just quit punching people or knocking them out with microscopes for a first reaction!"

"Phillip, Angelica, sit down" Dad says.

I go around the table and sit down. Dad puts a piece of pizza on my plate. Everyone always gets one piece first then if they are still hungry get a second piece. Everyone always takes a second piece and sometimes a third if there are any pieces even left.

I take a bite from the tip of me pizza.

Everyone eats pizza differently; I think Angie's is the weirdest though. She rips the crust off and takes the cheese off with a little bit of crust. Then she throws the rest of the pizza away. She uses the little bit of the crust left on the cheese to hold it. Then she just eats it like that.

"I don't know why you do that." I say to Angie while taking another bite of my pizza.

"Why do you eat pizza the way you do?" Angie asks.

"Just answer my question."

"I don't like the crust."

"So you just eat melted cheese for dinner?"

"Yeah," Angie stuffs the cheese into her mouth. "I guess nobody's perfect. I am going to do my homework." Angie stands up. "Oh yeah, Phillip?" I look at Angie. She stands near the stairs case. "I said nobody is perfect, but I really meant I am the only perfect one." She smiles and runs upstairs.

I take another bite of my pizza.

"Mom, I don't want pizza!" William cries. Mom picks up the piece of pizza by the crust and puts it one William's plate.

"You have to eat something for dinner" Mom says.

"I don't want pizza!" I zone out from the meaningless conversation. Then Dad starts talking, I have no idea what he is saying. I put my head down and put my hands on my thighs.

"Phillip?" I look up at Dad. "Could you check who is at the door?" I nod and stand up. I walk to the door and open it. Before I could see who it is my lips touch theirs. I close my eyes and let my body get pushes against the wall. After the kiss I open my eyes and see Francis with her hands on my chest.

"I missed you too" I say. Francis laughs and kisses me again. "What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you about something." Francis looks up at me. I put my hands on her waist.

"Phillip?" I hear Dad yell from the dining room. "Who is at the door?" I let of Francis and walk into the dining room. She stays by my side.

"Guys, this is Francis Laurens" I say. Everyone looks over at us, then begins to talk again. Dad stands up and shakes Francis' hand.

"Hello, Francis" Dad says.

"Hello, Mr. Hamilton," Francis says. "Is it fine if I can take Phillip from dinner?"

"Have you eaten yet, Phillip?"

"Yeah" I say.

"You can take him," Dad says. I take Francis' hand and we begin to walk up the stairs. "Phillip, can I talk to you before you go upstairs?" I look back at Dad than at Francis.

"My room is the first door on the left" I say. She nods and walks up the stairs. I go back over to Dad. He grabs my arm and we walk outside.

"Is everything ok?" I ask. Dad leans against his car.

"I want you to take care of Francis," Dad says. "I don't want you breaking her heart."

"I wasn't planning on it."

"Phillip, I mean it. Mr. Laurens and I are really good friends. I don't want his little girl to be hurt, because he will be hurt too. You know how much my friendship with Mr. Laurens means to me." Dad looks so worried and kind of scared.

"I promise Dad, I really like Francis and don't plan on hurting her anytime soon." Dad smiles and hugs me. We let go and walk back inside. I run upstairs and into my room. Francis is sitting on my bed and looking around my room.

"It isn't the prettiest, but it is a room" I say, closing the door behind me. I sit on my bed beside Francis. She takes my hands.

"I don't care what your room looks like. Fuck, I wouldn't care if you had rocket ship wallpaper and astronaut sheets" she says. We both laugh.

"Is that what you were expecting?"

"To be honest, yeah, since you have a whole bunch of younger siblings I would think you would still have the same thing as when you were young."

"Actually we didn't move here until my brother James was born, so I was already eight." We both chuckle a little. "So, what were you going to tell me?" Francis pauses and rubs her arm I go a little closer to her. "It's ok, you can tell me."

Francis lifts up her sweater sleeves. For a moment I think everything is normal then I realize. I take her arm and rub my thumb on the cuts. I think about how I found the knife in Angie's drawer.

"When was the last time?" I ask. It is all I can manage to say.

"Yesterday, I cut here" She points at the four closest cuts to her right wrists.

"Why did you do this?"

"George." I look up at her.

"George?"

"Yeah," she pauses. "He wasn't the nicest boyfriend."

"What would he do to you?"

"If he saw me with a girl when he wasn't around he would hit me. If he saw me with a guy when he wasn't around he would punch me." Tears fill in her eyes and she hugs me.

"I don't understand," I say. "You aren't with him anymore, why did you do it?" Francis keeps her chin on my shoulder. "Did he hurt you?" Francis lets go of me. Her bright, green eyes shine with tears.

"Yesterday he came over to my house after school to get me back because you apparently aren't 'man enough'," she begins. "My Dad wasn't home so he let himself in. He led me to my room. He tried to kiss me so I slapped him. He didn't like that so he pushed me down on the bed and told me if I tried to fight back, he would hurt me. So, I let him do whatever he wanted. Once he left I cut."

Francis holds her hand on her arm trying to cover the cuts, but there are too many. I put my hands into fists and stand up. Francis grabs my arm.

"Please let go of my arm" I say.

"No," Francis says pulling me down to sit beside her. "I'm going to stop you from doing something stupid."

"A guy should never hit a girl, especially if it is his girlfriend."

"Phillip, I don't want you to do anything, but stay with me."

"How are you going to stop me?" Francis leans in and kisses me and slowly puts her hand under my shirt. She pushes me down onto the bed then lets her lips off of mine.

"That is defiantly going to stop me." I say. Francis laughs and kisses me again.

 _ **I just had to say this even though it isn't important. I know someone who eats their pizza like how Angie eats hers. It was the only reason I got the idea. Me, I eat the crust of my pizza first. A whole bunch of my friends were yelling at me for eating my pizza that way, so now I just eat pizza from the tip first. I just don't eat the crust anymore, since I don't like it. How do you eat your pizza?**_


	6. The Reynolds Pamphlet and bad decisions

_**Ok, this is a BIG chapter. It is longer than I wanted it, but whatever. It is about as long as the other chapters. I like keeping them the same length. Anyway, please don't kill me for writing. Well, none of you have killed me so far, so I am glad you like the story.**_

* * *

I open my eyes. Francis has her head on my chest and her hand on my waist. I lean over to the ground and grab my phone. I check the time, 23:38. I hear the television on downstairs. Something is up; the television is always off by 22 hundred hours.

I slowly get out of bed. I put the blankets over Francis. I grab my shirt and slip it on. I open the door and slowly walk down half the stairs case, so I can just see the television. Mom sits on the couch fidgeting with the end of her dress.

"Today was the day that Treasury Secretary, Alexander Hamilton wrote what is being called the Reynolds Pamphlet, confessing about his affair" the new reporter says.

Wait, what is this? It has to be a sick joke right? Dad wouldn't do this. He wouldn't take our name and break it. Would he?

The television turns to a previously recorded tape of Mr. Jefferson at a podium reading out from a file.

"Today, Mr. Hamilton has confessed to spending government money to pay a Mr. James Reynolds for an affair with a Mrs. Maria Reynolds," Mr. Jefferson says. "And I quote," he flips a piece of paper. "The charge against me is a connection with one Mr. James Reynolds for purposes of improper speculations. My real crime is an amorous connection with his wife, for a considerable time with his knowing consent. I had frequent meeting with her, most of them at my own house; Mrs. Hamilton with our children being absent on a visit with her father."

I feel sick to my stomach. Is that the real reason Dad didn't come with us when Aunt Angelica visited?

"A letter that Mr. James Reynolds sent to Mr. Hamilton, was found," Mr Jefferson pauses taking out a piece of paper, which looked like it had once been crumpled up. "This letter reads, 'Dear sir, I hope this letter finds you in good health, in a prosperous enough position to put wealth in the pockets of people like me down on their luck, you see the was my wife you decided to-" the television makes a loud beeping sound. The television turns back to the news studio.

The television reporter starts talking, but I don't listen.

I said Mom would support him. Dad had a panic attack because he didn't want me to know. He didn't want to confess.

I hear Mom start to cry. She is trying not to be loud because she knows I will hear. I never hear Mom cry. A few times I would catch her in the kitchen, and I would try to comfort her. I hate seeing her sad. I put my head in my hands. I start to quietly sob. I put my hand over my mouth and quietly walk back upstairs to my room.

My knees shake, so I reach for the railing. I stumble into my room, knees buckling. I catch myself and go into my bed. Francis groans a bit. I play with her hair a little. She turns around. I put my arm around her and slowly fall asleep.

"Wake up sleepy head," I open my eyes and look at Francis. She presses her arms on my chest playfully. I think about Dad, what he did. I sit up then get out of my bed. "What are you doing?"

"I have to check on my Mom" I say, franticly.

Francis sits up and grabs my arm. "What happened, Phillip?"

"I have to see if my Mom is ok."

"Why?"

"I will tell you after; I really need to find her."

I go and open my door. I walk out of my room and go downstairs. Mom isn't in the living room or the dining room. I walk into the kitchen where Angie is making breakfast; Mom isn't there. I feel anxiety creep to the back of my head: burning.

"Where is Mom?" I ask.

"She is still sleeping. Why?" Angie asks.

"Something happened last night."

"Is everything alright?" I don't answer Angie and walk to the stairs. I start walking up them. "Phillip, can you explain to me what happened?" I hear the front door open. I turn around and see Dad standing there.

"Hey guys." he says like nothing happened.

I walk down the stairs and stand in front of Dad. I grab the hem of his shirt and push him out the door. I let go of Dad's shirt and he falls down onto the driveway.

"Get out of this house!" I yell.

"Phillip, let me explain" Dad says getting up. He touches my shoulder. I hit his hand away.

"If you think you can just come walking back into this house, you are wrong!"

"I was forced into it!"

"Phillip, Dad, what is going on?" Angie says, worry written across her face.

"He," I point at Dad. "He cheated on Mom! The whole country was told last night!" Angie covers her mouth with her hand. Tears start spilling from her eyes.

"I can explain," Dad says walking towards the house. I grab his shirt and pull him outside all the way. I push him to the ground.

"Get the fuck out of here!" I feel a hand touch my shoulder. I turn around and see Mom.

"Eliza," Dad says. "Please let me explain."

"You can't explain anything," Mom says. "You promised my father one thing. Only one thing." Mom starts crying.

"He can't stay here Mom," I say. "He has to go." I point at Dad. He gets up and brushes himself off. "You stay away from Mom! You stay away from all of us! I don't want to see you in this house _ever_ again! You can sleep in your office instead!"

Dad wipes his face. He puts his hands into his pockets and goes into his car. It starts and he drives away. Angie walks over to Mom and me. I sink down to my knees with Mom and Angie. I keep them wrapped in my arms. I look over at the door. Francis leans against the doorframe. I look back at Mom and Angie.

"I won't let anything bad happen to you," I say. "I won't let you guys go." I sit on the ground with Mom and Angie making sure Dad won't come back.

After a while, everyone wakes up. The house is more silent than usual. I sit down in Dad's chair at the end of the dining room table. I am now the man of the house. I will always be more of a provider than Dad ever was.

"Why are you sitting in Dad's spot?" Alexander asks.

"Is it because your girlfriend is over?" James asks. I look over at Francis who is sitting in my chair.

"No." I say.

"Where is Daddy?" Eliza asks.

"Kids," Mom says. "I have to talk to you about your Dad." I take Francis' hand and stand up. Mom doesn't say anything as we walk upstairs to my room.

We both lay down on my bed. I keep my hand tight in hers as we stare at the ceiling.

"I can't even imagine what you must be going through right now." Francis says.

"I am sorry for what happened this morning." I say. "You shouldn't have had to see that."

"Don't be sorry. I am here and I am glad. I am glad that I am here to help you through this."

"I am too."

Francis leans her head on my chest. "Lay there for a second and don't look," Francis says. She sits up. I close my eyes and stay still. "Ok, open your eyes." I open my eyes and sit up. I look at Francis.

"Can I ask? What did you do?" I say.

"I did nothing," she pushes me down and lies on top of me. "You love me for me. You still saw me as I always am. I don't have to change anything."

"Why would you need to change for me?"

"I had to change for George."

"Francis, George is gone. You don't have to think of yourself in that way anymore. You don't even have to think about him anymore."

Francis kisses me. I sit up and keep her on my lap. I pull my shirt off and throw it on the ground. I hear a knock on the door. I keep Francis' lips on mine. I hear the knocking again.

"Phillip!" Angie yells. "I know you have my hair straightener! Give it back!" I let my lips off of Francis'.

"If we stay quiet she will leave." I whisper.

"You are going to have to be quieter than that!" Angie yells. "If you don't open up the door I will come in myself." Francis gets off of me, and I get up and open the door. Angie stares at me for a second.

"Do you own a shirt?" She pushes me out of the way and goes to my desk.

"Angie, I don't have your hair straightener." I say. I grab her waist and lead her out of my room.

"Phillip, my friend is coming over and I _need_ my hair straightener!" Angie says harshly.

"Well, I don't have it! Can you please go?!"

Angie looks into my room. She looks at Francis sitting on my bed. She smiles and shoves my shoulder.

"If you want that woman go get her. What are you waiting for?"

"I am waiting for you to leave." Angie smiles and closes the door behind her. I go back over and sit on the bed beside Francis.

"Sorry about her," I say. "She is really weird."

Francis runs her fingers through her hair. "I don't want to go home Phillip. I don't want to be by myself. I don't want to cut again." She wraps her arms around me and I wrap my arms around her.

"I can go home with you if you want." I say. "Could you just warn your father before he goes all crazy on me?" Francis laughs and nods. She kisses and hugs me again.

"I have to go call my Dad." Francis says.

I stand up. "I have to go talk to my sister anyway." I open the door and leave. I walk to Angie's door and knock. I hear someone walk up the stairs. I look over. Angie and another girl stand at the top of the staircase.

"Angie," I say. "Can I talk to you? Alone?" She nods and we walk down the hall a bit.

"What's up, Phil?" Angie says.

"Do you think Dad was telling the truth? About being forced into the affair?" I ask.

"No one is forced into something. Dad let that Maria girl do whatever she wanted with him. He didn't say no even though he could have."

"Would you tell if you had sex with someone?" I ask, rubbing the back of my neck.

"I haven't told anyone ye-whoops."

"Wait, you and that girl?" I nod over down the hall.

"Yeah."

"Is it weird that no one knew until now?"

"Kinda, but not really" Angie says quietly.

We stay silent for a second.

"Can I ask you something?" I ask.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"I know you are part of the LGBTQ+ community, but what sexuality are you?"

"I am lesbian."

Angie points over to the girl down the hall. I nod and Angie hugs me. She walks down the hall and into her room with that girl. I smile and walk back into my room. Francis sits with her legs crossed on my bed with her phone up to her ear.

"Yeah, is that a problem?" Francis asks. "Ok, he can't wait to see you." I sit down beside Francis and put my arm around her waist. "He is going to give you a hug when he sees you." I shake my head a mouth 'no, I am not'. "He can't wait for the hug, Dad. Ok, I love you too." Francis hangs up the phone.

"Why did you tell him I will give him a hug?" I ask.

"He likes you. He would never hug George" Francis says then kisses me.

"He probably still doesn't like George."

"No one likes George." We both laugh a lot at that. "Come on, let's go." Francis says. We both stand up and walk downstairs. I go and sit down on the couch in the living room next to Mom.

"Mom, I am going over to Francis' house for a little while. If Dad comes back call me, I will be back as soon as I can." I say.

"Phillip, I think I will be fine." Mom says.

I hug her then stand up. I grab Francis' hand and walk out the door. Francis leans against me as we walk down the street.

Francis opens the door to her house.

"We are back!" She yells kicking her shoes off on a carpet, I do the same.

John walks into the empty room. He goes up to me and hugs me. He grips so tightly I can hardly breathe. He lets go of me.

"I heard what happened with your father," he says. "I am so sorry."

"It's fine, I am good."

Francis grabs my hand. "Daddy, I am going to go upstairs with Phillip. Could you call us out and not barge into my room like you always do?"

"Sure thing, honey" John laughs.

Francis goes in front of me and leads me upstairs to her room. She opens the door and quickly closes it. We sit down on her bed. Francis kisses me and we lay down. She puts her head on my chest and looks up at me.

"I love your freckles," she says rubbing my cheeks. "They are so...majestic." I can't help but chuckle a bit. I put my hand on her side. She puts her fingers on my hip.

"I love the feeling of your skin," Francis says. "It makes me feel safe." I hear a knock on the door. Francis stands up and opens it.

"Hey, Francis," John says, standing in the hall. "There is someone who wants to see you." Francis looks back at me and holds her hand out. I stand up and grab her hand.

We follow John downstairs. George stands at the front door. Each step we take Francis pulls me closer to her. Soon our bodies are together, but she still tries to go closer to me.

"Hey, Francis," George says once we get to the bottom of the stairs and John is gone. "I thought that you would be alone."

"You thought wrong," Francis says. She puts her head close to my chest. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought about what happened last time I saw you, maybe we could...get back together?"

Francis puts her head down and keeps a tight grip on my arm. "You only made it worse; you will never get me back."

"You were serious about him weren't you?" George laughs.

"Leave now, George" I say, stepping forward.

"You think you scare me, Hamilton? You are a character, that's for sure. If you think you're right, you are incredibly wrong."

"This isn't your house or mine, George. We aren't doing this right now. Go home...please."

George looks at me and grins. "You are off the hook for this, but when you are alone, you are going down." George opens the door and leaves.

Francis puts her face into my chest. "I won't let you go. He won't hurt you again." I put my chin on top of her head. She lets go of me ad we walk back up to her room.

I sit on the side of Francis' bed while she closes the door. She goes and lies on her bed, clutching her stomach. I lie down beside her and pull her body close to me.

"Are you feeling ok?" I ask.

"I don't feel safe around George. I don't want him to hurt me again!" Francis cries. She turns around and puts her face into my chest.

"I won't ever let him touch you," I say. "I will never leave your side." I kiss the top of her head.

* * *

After a while Francis falls asleep. I stay awake not wanting her to be alone if she wakes up. I hear a knock on the door. The door slowly opens. John pokes his head into the room.

"Phillip, your Mom wants you to go home" he whispers.

"Thank you, Mr. Laurens" I say.

I kiss Francis on the top of her head and slowly climb out of bed. I put the blankets over her and I walk out of the room. I walk downstairs following John.

"I can drive you home if you want" John says opening the door for me.

"That would be nice" I say.

We walk out of the house and into John's car. I put my seatbelt on and John backs the car out of the driveway.

"Thank you for driving me home" I say.

"No problem," John says. "I didn't want you walking home after George came by. You have gotten hurt by him too many times already."

I chuckle a bit. "Yeah, but the bump on the back of my head," I point to the back of my head, "is from my sister. I went into her room to wake her up and she hit me in the head with a microscope."

"Damn that sucks," John pulls into my driveway. "Here you go."

"Thank you, again."

I open the door and close it. I walk up to the house, then turn around and watch the lights of John's car disappear.

I walk into the house and into the living room. Eliza and William lay on the couch sleeping. Mom walks into the room and turns the television off.

"Hello," Mom says. "Could you grab Eliza and take her to her room?"

I walk over to the couch and pick up Eliza. Mom picks up William and we walk upstairs. Eliza dangles from my arms. I try to put her closer to me, but she keeps rolling away from me.

I push the door open to Eliza and William's room. I have hardly ever been in this room before. One side of the room has bunk beds and the other side is split in two; one side for William and one for Eliza.

I put Eliza on the bottom bunk. Mom hands me William and I put him on the top bunk. We walk out of the room closing the door enough so only a sliver of light can get into their room from the hallway.

"How was your time at Francis'?" Mom asks.

"It was good" I say.

"I am glad you are happy with her."

I smile and hug Mom. "Good night."

"Good night, Phillip."

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"I am so sorry. You don't deserve this. No one deserves to be cheated on."

"It's ok, Phillip. Don't worry about me."

"I just want to make sure you are ok. I am going to help you out more. I am going to be the father figure my siblings never had."

"Thank you so much, Phillip. I really appreciate it."

I watch as Mom walk to the end of the hall and goes into her room. I start walking to my room when I hear a door open. I turn around to see Angie standing in the middle of the hallway. She walks closer to me.

"Hey," she says. "Where were you?"

"I was with Francis, why?" I ask.

"George came by," I stand still looking down at Angie. "He said he wanted some information from Dad, but I knew he wanted to see you."

"Why Dad?"

"He said something about doing an essay on him for a project."

"He is going to try to blackmail me with Dad until I break up with Francis, I know it."

"Phillip, you have to promise me, whatever happens don't do something stupid."

I take Angie hands. "I promise you." I turn around and walk into my room. I lay down on my bed a quickly fall asleep.

 _ **So, that was something. Once again, sorry for this. I have, like, two more chapters, than I am done. I am sorry if you like it, but you will see. Anyway, I will be posting my Mullette fanfiction right after this one, well, I wrote a one shot that, in my opinion, is very good. I don't know anymore. Well, see you guys next chapter!**_


	7. He is a fucking lair

_**Well,**_

* * *

"Phillip! Get up! George Eaker is on the news!" I open my eyes.

I get open and open the door. Angie stands in the doorway. She grabs my arm and leads me downstairs and into the living room. Alexander is sitting on the couch with his hands together leaning forward. I look at the television.

"Today Mr. Eaker from Harold Private School spoke out about Treasury Secretary Alexander Hamilton and his disgrace" the news reporter says.

The screen changes to George at a podium. He looks down at a piece of paper.

"The Reynolds Pamphlet announced that Mr. Hamilton has cheated on his wife, but also he cheated on his children," George says. "He used government money to pay Mr. Reynolds because he used all of Mrs. Hamilton's money."

"He's a fucking lair!" Alexander yells.

"As you know, Mrs. Hamilton and her children were on a visit to her father, Phillip Schuyler. The only reason Mr. Hamilton didn't go upstate on the trip was because he was already seeing Mrs. Reynolds for four years before The Reynolds Pamphlet!" The crowd started going crazy at this. Mummers that feel like they are going to kill me.

Four years ago? Where did he get four ye- I started high school four years ago. Mr. Reynolds is my principal; I remember having bad grades in grade nine. Mr. Reynolds came to our house with his wife. Is that information true then?

"I know this is news," George says. "But I had a meeting with Mr. Hamilton's daughter, Angelica Hamilton. She told me this information. She also told me that her father is abusive at home."

Angie starts walking towards the door. "That's it, I'm fucking killing him myself," I grab her arm. "Let go of me, Phillip!" She pulls her arm away. I grab her waist and pick her up. She screams and struggles to get away.

"You aren't going to make anything better, Angie!" I yell.

"Let me go, motherfucker!" Angie protests.

"No! I will let you go when you calm down, and when I know you won't rip my head off!"

Angie starts calming down. I slowly put her on the ground.

"Tricked ya!" Angie points at me while running towards the door. I grab her. She holds onto the doorknob. I try pulling her away, but she has a tight grip.

"Get out of my way!" Alexander yells. "I will kick his ass instead!" I drop Angie. She screams and falls. I grab Alexander's arm. Mom comes into the room.

"Stop it!" Mom yells. "What happened?"

"George Eaker made fun of Dad!" Angie yells.

"Why do you care about him?"

"He may have done that shitty thing to his whole family, and the Reynolds family, but he is still my father! I may not like him, but I still love him!"

Mom stands still, flabbergasted. "None of you guys are going anywhere. You aren't getting hurt for him. Go up to your rooms."

Alexander, Angie and I walk upstairs and to our rooms. I hear a door slam. I look down the hallway and see Angie standing in front of her door. She opens her door and closes it four times. She closes it again and leans her head on it. I walk over to her.

"Why do I still care about Dad?" Angie asks in a whisper. She looks up at me. Her face is red, and tears prick in the corner of her eyes.

"I don't know," I say. "I still care about him too." Angie slides her back down her door and sits on the ground. I sit down beside her.

"He is a jackass though." Angie says. She leans her head on my shoulder. Her curly hair goes in front of her eyes.

"As you said, 'he is still our Dad'. He has done so much for us. No matter what he does we love him. He is the Dad that listened the that awful poem I wrote when I was nine, the Dad that makes us laugh on the worst days, the Dad that made you that butterfly costume for Halloween when you were four. He is the Dad we love, and will always stay in our hearts."

I start to cry, Angie does too. I keep her hands intertwined with mine. I hear my phone chime. I take it out of my pocket. A Facebook notification comes up. I go onto Facebook. Angie looks over my shoulder at my phone. Three pictures of Francis and George come up. I start to read the captioning.

'Francis and I hanging out at her house having a good time.'

I stand up and put my phone in my pocket. Angie stands up with me.

"What are you doing Phillip?" She asks following me downstairs.

"George is with Francis. Something is happening." I say. I grab my sweater and open the door.

"Mom said we couldn't go anywhere," I start walking down the driveway. "You can't leave Phillip!" I stop and turn around. Angie is slouching and has her hands in her pockets.

"Watch me." I turn back around and run down the street. I don't care if Angie follows me, I keep running.

I get into Francis' driveway and run inside. I run upstairs to Francis' room and I open the door. George and Francis sit on her bed. George sits behind Francis, kissing her neck. He has his hands tight on her waist. Francis looks over at me.

"Phillip!" She yells.

I walk over to George and collide my fist with his jaw. He lets go of Francis. She stands up and falls into me. I look down at Francis. I stand her up straight then go over to George and grab the hem of his shirt. I pull him off Francis' bed and onto the ground.

"Get the fuck out of here!" I yell.

"Slow down, Philly," George says. "I am keeping her safe."

"She is scared of you, can you see that?! You can't take away what you have done to her! Get out of this house now!"

"Whatever you say, Philly." George gets up and walks over to Francis. He kisses her. I grab the back of his shirt and shove him out of the room.

"Get out of here and go home!"

He stands up and walks down the hall. I follow him. He walks down the stairs and out of the door. I wrap my arms around Francis. She starts sobbing, and I start crying again.

"I am so sorry I left you alone, I promise it will not happen again." I say.

We both fall to the ground. Francis keeps her arms wrapped tightly around my waist.

"Phillip, I was so scared. I didn't know what to do," Francis sniffles. "I just let him do whatever he wanted. I didn't want him to hurt me."

My hands start to shake. I kiss Francis. I pull my lips away, but keep my hands around her waist. I let her lay down on my lap. She keeps her arms around me and her head on my lap.

"I love you more than you could ever know" I say.

"I love you too" Francis says.

We sit in silence for a second, only the sound of us crying and sniffling.

"Do you want to come over to my house?" I ask. "George won't come. Plus, as long as you are with me he won't go near you. You also have the protection of my sister."

Francis sits up and looks at me. "Can we go now?" I nod and stand up, reaching for her hand. She grabs it and I pull her up. She leans against me.

We walk back home and go inside. Angie stands at the top of the stairs looking at her phone. She looks up from her phone at us. She stares at me for a second like she doesn't know who I am.

"Hi, Phillip" she says, walking down the stairs.

"Are you ok? You seem kind of out of it" I say.

"I'm fine," she rubs her eyes and looks back at me. Her green eyes are more of a brownish colour. "The plan wasn't for you to come home with a guest." I look down at Francis.

"You want to go upstairs?" I ask.

Francis nods a little. We start walking upstairs, Angie follows us. Angie walks to her room and Francis and I to mine. I hear my phone ring. I take it out of my pocket. An unknown number comes up. I answer it anyway.

"Hello?" I say.

"You can't hide forever, Philly" It is George's voice.

"Wait one second," I put my hand over the speaker of my phone. "Francis, you should ask Angie about her life or something. Get to know her better."

She looks at me weirdly. "Ok." Francis walks over to Angie. I put the phone back to my ear.

"What do you want from me?" I ask; my voice deeper than usual.

"I want you to stop seeing my girl."

"How did you get this number?"

"It doesn't matter. Hey, did you see my little speech?"

"Do you have something you want to say to me?"

"Yeah, your father is a scoundrel and so it seems are you."

"You want a fight? Is that all you want?"

"You are walking into a death trap, son."

"Don't call me son."

"Whatever, sonny boy."

"Call me son one more time!"

"Meet me in the alleyway between the Deli and the community centre."

"You're on."

"Oh yeah, Philly? Just letting you know; I never lose a fight." George hangs up the phone. I click my phone off. I walk over to Angie and Francis.

"That is why Phillip puked for hours." Angie says. She looks up at me.

"I am not even going to ask," I say. "I have to go."

"Where?" Francis asks taking my hand.

"I have to go see my Dad. He called me from a payphone and he wants to talk about something."

I don't want to lie to Francis and my sister, but this is different. They are both going to try to stop me, but I need to stop George.

"What does he want?" Angie asks going closer to me.

"I don't know, I have to go," I kiss Francis on the forehead. "I will be back."

* * *

 _ **Sorry to leave you like this, but you are lucky getting two chapters today. Anyway, I will update tomorrow. I will probably update in between ten and eleven o'clock.**_

 _ **Oh, and I just want to say that I really enjoy you guys reading this. I know I have told you that before, but I can't thank you enough. Most of the people in my class know about me posting fanfiction, but a lot of them make fun of me. So, if you are reading this you are probably as much as a nerd and geek as me.**_

 _ **Actually, don't listen to that, I don't think anyone is like me, but that is what makes a person a person, right? We are all unique in our own ways. Me, I like writing, reading, hanging out with my friends, but I hate eating chocolate like most people do. I am lactose intolerant.**_

 _ **Anyway, we aren't all the same is what I am trying to say. I defiantly have people in my life that I will never meet anyone as great as them ever again. Everyone has friends like that. Hold onto them and never let go.**_

 _ **Well, I don't even know how this is related to writing an author's note on a Hamilton fanficiton, but let's just go with not knowing. Yes, I could read over what I wrote, but I am too lazy. I am going to go. See you guy's next chapter!**_


	8. Day of death

_**Today is the day. Today you will see.**_

 _ **Trigger Warnings: Bullying (Physical, Verbal), Death**_

* * *

I walk downstairs and out the door. I put my hands into my pockets. The air is colder today than usual; winter is coming. I put my hood on and put my nose under my sweater. Breathing inside my sweater to warm me up a little bit.

I go turn to the alleyway. George is leaning against the wall. I walk over to him. He sees me and walks towards me. I grab the hem of his shirt and punch him. He falls to the ground.

"You hurt my girlfriend, you hurt me and most of all, you lied about my sister" I say. George stands up.

"I felt like destroying something pretty." George says, punching me. We get into a fist fight. He grabs my sweater and pulls it over my head. He pushes me down onto the ground. I take my sweater off. I look up at George. He is hoping on his toes with his fists in front of him.

"Get up Hamilton!" George yells. I slowly stand up. I grab his waist and bring his head down. I contact my knee with his jaw. He laughs at me, blood spilling out of his mouth.

"You think you can hurt me?" George asks putting his hand into his pocket taking out a pocket knife. He pushes me down onto the ground. I get back up and kick him in the gut. I grab George's knife and sit on him. I put the knife to his neck.

"Go ahead and kill me," George says. "Jokes on you; I am already dead." He laughs and spits blood at me. I get up and drop the knife. George picks it up and points the blade towards me.

"George, let's talk about this," I say. "You don't have to do this." I walk slowly to him keeping one hand out in front of me.

"Phillip, back off." George says. I keep walking over to him. I look at the knife. The blade is sharp and clean. I go to grab the knife.

"Let it go George." I say. I feel the handle. I try to pull the knife away from him.

"Phillip, stay away from me," George says. He puts the blade of the knife closer to me. "I don't want to do this, but I will.' I keep trying to take it from him. My hands slip off the handle. George jolts and puts the knife closer to my side.

I feel a sharp pain in my right side. George's face turns from angry to scare. I look down at the knife. It is coated in blood; my blood. I fall to the ground and hear a ringing in my ears. I hear George's footsteps disappear into the darkness.

"Phillip!" I don't recognize the voice. I hear footsteps running closer to me. Angie and Francis kneel by my side.

"Phillip, please don't close your eyes." Angie says, clutching my side trying to stop the bleeding. My vision starts going blurry. Francis puts her hand on my cheek.

"Phillip, please don't leave me alone," she says. "I love you."

"Francis," I begin to say. "Stand up for yourself. Don't let anyone tell you what to do."

"Phillip, please."

"When you find someone new, promise that you won't forget me."

Angie looks at me. "Phillip, we are going home to see Mom," she starts crying. "We are going home."

"Angie," My speech is slurred. "Tell Dad I am sorry. Tell Mom and the rest of our siblings that I love them."

"Phillip, we are going home."

"I am so tired."

"Don't close your eyes!" Francis exclaims.

"I will see you guys soon," Angie keeps her hands on my side. She starts saying things, but I can't hear. Francis keeps my head in her hands, but I can't feel her touch. "I will see you on the other side." I close my eyes.

* * *

 _ **Ok, I am so sorry. Though, this isn't my last chapter. I am going to write Angie's and George's point of view. From George's you will see kind of his past and living arrangements. Angie's point of view you will see what she saw after Phillip's death and how it changes their whole family. You also get to see Phillip's funeral. I haven't written this down, so I am just using my ideas and making sure I won't lose them. I can look back at this note if I don't remember. I also added a line from the movie Fight Club, if you noticed. Anyway, see you in the next chapters!**_


	9. George

_**Yo, there isn't anything I really need to say. I just want to let you know that this is my second last chapter. I still have to write Angie's point of view, like I said in the last chapter. Anyway, here we go.**_

 _ **Trigger Warnings: Abuse, mentions of death, gore**_

George's P.O.V.

I never thought I would hurt Phillip, nevertheless kill him. Yes, I got mad at him for staring at Francis, then he goes and dates her, but I'm not going to get into that.

Though, I shouldn't get the blame. You always do that right? Doesn't the one with more power take control? Doesn't it work like that?

I guess it is from my background. I have never had the best life. Well, not until grade six. That was the year Mom died. She never was able to take care of herself. She was cursed with Schizophrenia. Mom committed suicide. I still remember getting the call at school.

 _I sit around the lunch table, showing off my brand new Nintendo DS. I smile proudly, knowing no one else in the whole school has one other than Phillip Hamilton._

 _I envy him. He is such a cool guy and always helps everyone out, no matter who they are. Everyone at the school likes him. His parents are proud of him and all his siblings are really cool. His father is cool too. Dad doesn't like him, but I really do. He has done so much._

" _Mr. Eakar?" I look behind me at the EA. "Can you come with me?"_

 _I look back at my friends, who just shrug. I jump out of my chair, a little bounce in my walk. I stay beside the EA. She looks almost pale._

" _Is everything ok?" I ask, once she brings me into the office._

 _She bends down to my height. "Your father is on the phone for you."_

" _O-ok?" I say._

 _Dad never calls me from school. The last time he did, was when my cousin got into a car accident. Did someone get hurt?_

 _I walk over to the phone and grab it._

" _Hey, Dad. What's up?" I say._

" _Um, uh, h-hi, George" Dad says shakily._

" _Is everything alright?"_

" _George," I hear Dad choke on tears. "Y-your mother d-di-ed."_

" _W-what?"_

" _Your mother killed herself, son. S-she's gone."_

I remember breaking down and crying. I didn't go back to class that day, or the next, or for the next three months. I never went to the grade six graduation. Mom always told me how excited she was for my graduation; being able to see me so happy. I couldn't go, not after that.

The rest of my life changed instantly. Dad wasn't talking, and I had to do everything for myself. Dad didn't know what to do, so he started drinking. I remember watching, from the corner of the living room, Dad guzzling down beer after beer.

He has been drinking and hitting me ever since. I went out, I got hit. I hung out with my friends, I got hit. I forgot to put my shoes in the closet, I got hit. Every little fucking thing I would do, guess what?! I got fucking hit!

My rage began piling up, not being able to show any emotions in front of Dad. Since, if someone did something to bother me just a little, I would hurt them. It was the only thing I really knew. I could never show anything to Dad, so whenever I could get it out, it would do it. Holding in emotions literally hurt me. It sting and burned.

Once Francis broke up with me, it hurt. I would have never tried to get her back. I knew I was doing everything wrong. I knew it, but couldn't stop, not knowing anything else to do. Dad heard about this and made me do everything I did to hurt her.

When I was at Francis', I didn't want to post anything about it. Dad told me that it would boil Phillip's blood. He threatened to hurt me.

I remember just before I called Phillip. I remember every step, every hit, every word.

 _I walk into the house through the back door. Geez, I don't even know how Dad is a politician. It is hard enough to believe that we could get a better house that didn't leak in my room every time it rains._

 _I sit down at the table and tap my fingers. Dad stumbles into the room, a beer bottle in his hand._

" _Where is that girl?" Dad slurs._

" _Francis? She is with her boyfriend like she should be," I say. "Dad, I don't want to hurt her anymore. I just want to leave her be."_

 _Dad smacks me across the face. I keep a cold stare at Dad. I don't feel the hit on my skin, but I do in my heart._

" _Get him," Dad says. "Make him pay."_

" _Dad I-"_

 _Another hit._

" _Don't fucking question me! You are going to call him, then fight him. Hopefully, he won't come out alive."_

" _I am not going to kill someone!"_

 _Dad takes a pocket knife out of his hand. He flips the blade open. Then, he does something not human. He throws the knife at me. I dodge it quickly, just scraping the skin on the side of my arm open. It sticks into the wall._

" _What the fuck?!" I yell._

 _Dad walks behind me and takes the knife out of the wall. "Watch your mouth. Now, you kill him or I kill you."_

 _I close my eyes and flinch. I slowly hold my hand out. I bite my lip and feel the knife fall into my hand. I open my eyes and see the knife._

" _Good," Dad says. "Now call him. I know the number. Don't ask me why. You tell him to fight you," Dad slaps me again. "You fucking bastard."_

I thought that maybe if I took out the knife it would scare Phillip away. Then, he walked towards me. I really didn't want to hurt him. He tried taking the knife out of my hand. I didn't want to let the knife slip out of my hands, so I kept a hold.

I should have just given him the knife. I shouldn't have even brought it. I shouldn't of listened the my father about the fight.

I stand in front of Phillip. He falls to the ground, blood gushing from his side. Then, I spot Francis and Phillip's sister, Angelica. Francis and I meet eyes. Angelica yells Phillip's name. I run away, I don't want to see this. I don't want to see Phillip die. Will he die?

I run back home, tears streaming down my face. I hit the back of my head on the wall and close my eyes.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Dad asks.

I open my eyes and glare at him. "You," I walk closer to him, grabbing the collar of his shirt. "You fucking made me go to that fight! I fucking killed him!"

"Good."

"Good?! Are you fucking insane?! What the fuck are you talking about?!"

"He gets what he earns."

"You are a fucking asshole!" I punch Dad hard in the jaw. "I am fucking leaving! You will never fucking see me again." I walk out the door, slamming it behind me.

 _ **Five Days Later**_

I look at the cemetery from a distance. I watched Phillip's family. I guess his parents are back together. I watched Angelica stand in front of her brother's headstone.

I look at my watch: 21:30. I slowly walk into the cemetery and shuffle to Phillip's grave. I sit down; making the dead leaves that blow, crack. I shift a little and lean my back onto the headstone.

"Hey, Phillip," I say. "I know you probably don't want me to be here. Trust me: I don't want to be here either. I still want you to be alive. I want to be friends with you. I want to be able to laugh and hang out with you, but you wouldn't have wanted that anyway. I just want you to be here, for Francis, for me, for your friends, for your family."

Tears streak down my face. "I am so fucking dumb. I should have never listened to Dad. You would still be here. You would have hated me, but I really just want to see your face again! God, Phillip. I never thought this would happen! This is my own stupidity!"

I wipe my eyes and catch my breath. "What I came here to tell you is that, I am leaving. I am not going to live here anymore. I have to get away from this past. You know, I am gonna think about you every day, even if I don't want to. I will never forget what I did, and that may be a good thing. I know I won't make this mistake again."

I sigh deeply and say my last few words before I leave. "Phillip, you may have not been friends with me, but I envied you. Please, if you are listening, make sure you take care of Francis. I don't want her to get hurt. Just promise me that one thing."

I stand up, putting my hands into my pockets. I start leaving the cemetery. I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around and see nothing, just Phillip's headstone. I smile, knowing he was the one. Knowing he was listening.

 _ **I'm going to write Angie's point of view this weekend. On Monday it should be posted. See ya next week!**_

 _ **(Editor's note)I spotted the I, Tonya references. Thx for forcing me to edit this fanfic. Keep up the good work!**_


	10. Angie

_**Here is Angie's point of view now. This chapter is really sad! I am not going to be shy, I cried writing this chapter.**_

 _ **Trigger Warnings: PTSD, swearing, violence**_

* * *

November 25th: the day I will never forget. The day I watched the blood pour from my brothers ribs, onto the cold cement.

"I will see you on the other side" Phillip says, wearily.

Francis kisses him. He closes his eyes. I can't do anything. I sit still. I feel tears stream down my face. Phillip stops breathing.

I hug my brother's body, his dead, cold, lifeless body. I put my face into his chest and scream. I keep my arms wrapped tightly around him. His chest feels buff like it always is.

For a second I think he is alive. We lie in his bed as he tells me stories of random things he makes up. Then, I realise he is dead; I feel his blood soak through my sweater. I lift my face. Francis sits still looking at him. She keeps her hand on his cheek, where it was when we sank to our knees.

"What happened?" I look up. A young woman stands on the sidewalk. She runs over to us and take out her phone. "Do you want me to call 911?"

"Go ahead," I say in monotone. "He is dead anyway."

She takes her phone out, Francis stands up and wipes her face. I stand up and go to her. She goes to walk away, but I put my hand on her shoulder.

"Please let go of me." She says, trying to be calm.

"No, I don't want to leave you alone."

"I want to be alone." She pulls away from me.

"I don't want you to leave me alone!" Francis turns around to look at me. "I can't be alone right now!"

Francis walks over to me and hugs me tightly. I cry into her shoulder. She is much taller than me, but much shorter than Phillip i-was. Her hug feels safe and warm. I listen to her heart beat. She keeps her hands on my waist.

 _Oh shit,_ I think _I am falling for her_.

I quickly let go of Francis and look back at Phillip. The woman puts her hand over the speaker of her phone.

"The Coroner and the police are coming," she says, walking over to us. "The police want to know where you guys live."

I go to tell her we don't live together, when Francis speaks up. "467 Creekwood road."

I look down at Phillip again, then down towards my hands. They are stained in Phillip's blood, same as my sweater.

I hear the wailing of sirens get closer and closer. I watch the light dance across Phillip's body.

I suddenly feel lightheaded, having to stumble back and sit down, dragging my back down the wall. Francis sits down beside me, probably not lightheaded though. I lean my head on her shoulder and she brushes her fingers through my hair. The sudden move sends chills up my spine.

"I always use to do this to Phillip," she says. "When he was asleep and I was awake I would play with his hair," her voice becomes shaky. "Your hair reminds me of his." She covers her mouth and begins crying again.

"I lied to Phillip," I say, tears welling in my eyes. "I said I was okay even though I wasn't. I just didn't want him to worry. I, uh, broke up with my girlfriend. Why the fuck would I lie to Phillip! It was one of the last things I said!" I start to cry. "I should have told him the truth, maybe he wouldn't have gone."

I look back at Phillip as the police officers come over. Phillip's face is pale, his chest sunken, then I realise that I won't ever see his beautiful, light brown eyes again.

* * *

I look at the driveway. I walk slowly up to the door. I touch the doorknob and open it slowly. I walk into the house. For the first time since I can remember, everyone is quiet. No whispers, no yelling, no movement.

I look at Mom while she sits in the living room with a box of tissues. I close the door to the house. Mom looks up at me: face blotchy and eyes puffy. She stands up and walks to me. She wraps her arms around me and mine around her. She cries and doesn't even try to hide it. I cry too. We rock each other back and forth lightly.

"H-how long have you known?" I ask after a little while.

"The police came half an hour ago" Mom whispers.

"Does anyone else know?"

"Alexander was the one who answered the door."

"Do you know if Dad knows?"

"No, I had to give the police Mr. Laurens' address. He should know where your father is." Mom lets go of me.

"I-I am going to bed."

I walk upstairs and into my room. I lie down on my bed, flat on my stomach. I won't be able to get to sleep tonight.

" _Are you okay, Angie" Phillip asks, walking closer to me._

 _I look at him. We are both little kids again. No worries, no knives, no bullies, no death._

 _Phillip sits down beside me._

" _No," I wipe my face. "You're gone, Phillip. You aren't coming back._

" _W-what do you mean? I am sitting right here with you." He wraps his arms around me in a soothing hug. "I would never leave you alone."_

 _I close my eyes. The ground suddenly feels cold and my hands wet. I open my eyes. Phillip's dead body lies on the ground in front of me. Of course, my hands are soaked in blood._

" _Phillip? Please don't close your eyes, please don't leave me." I hold my hands tight to the knife wound on his side. I try to keep my hands steady, but they keep slipping. I curse under my breath. Phillip starts closing his eyes. "Phillip, please don't leave me, please stop dying! I need you!"_

I open my eyes and scream. Mom sits on the side on my bed. I quickly sit up and hug her. I cry into her shoulder.

"He is gone, Mom!" I cry. "I don't believe it, but I can't help but see his body in front of me!"

I keep Mom tight in my arms.

"I heard you talking in your sleep. I just wanted to make sure you were okay," Mom sighs. "I am going to make breakfast for your siblings."

"Can I go to school?"

"A-are you sure you can go?"

"I will be fine."

I let Mom go. She stands up and walks out of my room.

I slump down the stairs with my backpack in my hands. I look into the dining room. Everyone sits around the table except Alexander and me. For a second I feel like I see Phillip sitting in his chair. I shake my head.

"Mommy," Eliza says. "Where is Phillip? He is going to be late for school."

I feel tears well up in my eyes. I open the front door and slam it behind me. I wipe my face, forbidding tears to roll down my cheeks.

I put my hands into my pockets. I make sure I don't step on the cracks while I walk down the street (I don't know why I do that, but to if I step in the crack I have to go back and start walking again).

Before I know it, I get to the school. I look up at the American flag: half massed. Everyone will know about a death, though they may not know who it is.

I watch everyone walk passed me; they all stare. Some look at me then put their head down, but almost all of them whisper to one another. I walk down to my locker and bang my head against the door.

"Hey, Angie," I look to my right. Stephanie –my ex-girlfriend- walks up to me. "I heard what happened." I slam my hand on my locker for dramatic effect. I start to walk away. "Are you okay?"

I turn around. "Why the fuck would I be alright?! I watched my brother die! Why the fuck do you care all of a sudden?!"

"I am worried about you. I don't want anything bad to happen."

"Look around!" I put my hands up and spin in a small circle. "Bad shit has been happening to me my whole life! I just found out my father had an affair for two fucking years! My brother just died and I have to try to be the strong one for my siblings! So don't fucking worry about me, no one will _ever_ know how I am feeling right now." I start walking again. Then, I stop. I turn back around and look at Stephanie. "Oh yeah, take all that fake caring bullshit and shove it up your ass!"

I turn back around and walk to the French classroom. Mr. Lafayette isn't here yet. Everyone stands around, talking or sitting on desks. Everyone stops doing what they are doing once they spot me walk in. They watch me while I walk to my desk. I sit down and slam my forehead on the desk, letting my curly hair hide me.

I look up and see everyone staring at me.

"Just because my brother is dead doesn't mean you have to fucking stare, or to be fucking interested" I say, looking at everyone.

"We feel bad for you." one girl says.

"Please, I have already had enough fake bullshit this morning," I say, standing up. "All of you have made fun of me once. Maybe it was the way I dress, or the way I don't care. Maybe it is the way I can stand up and say everyone in this room are assholes and not care. Oh yeah, maybe it is because I am lesbian. Guess what? I have fucking feelings on a fucking daily basis too!

"I really don't give a shit about how all the guys in this class are going to be homeless and all the girls are going to be whores. For those non binary people, good job, I always see you guys studying and working. One day, you are going to get a job and make some money."

Mr. Lafayette walks into the room. I sit back down like nothing happened. I slam my face back onto the desk and block out Mr. Lafayette's voice.

Before I know it, the bell rings. I stand up quickly and walk out of the class. My next class is Maths, but I walk away from the class.

I put my hands into my pockets and walk with my head down, looking at my feet. I hear people talk. I look up and see a group of girls pass me. I watch them walk by.

I look down at the rows of lockers. Most of the lockers have black or grey locks, but I stop at the locker with the bright orange lock: Phillip's locker.

I walk up to it and put my head on it.

"Phillip, I miss you so much," tears begin streaming down my face. "If I close my eyes you will be alive. This is all just a bad dream. You are going to be the one who wakes me up. I will probably get scared and throw a microscope at you again." I laugh a little.

I close my eyes and pinch my arm. I open my eyes. I look at the grummy floor of the school. I stand up straight and brush my fingers on Phillip's locker. I take a step back and begin walking down the hall again.

I open the door and walk outside. All I can hear is cheering from the bleachers and the cool air blow through my ears. A lot of girls sit on the bleachers watching soccer practice.

I go over to the bleachers and walk under them. I look at a pillar high up. I take a couple steps back then run forward, jumping. I grab the pillar and pull myself up. I sit down on it. I am just small enough to lie on them.

I close my eyes and the cheers slowly fade. I hear some more voices that stand out. I open my eyes and look down. George walks with a couple other people.

"I will catch up with you guys later," he says.

He walks under the bleachers near me. He leans against a pillar and takes a knife from his pocket, feeling the blade. He starts to lift up his sleeve. He looks at his watch.

I jump down from the pillar I lay on. He looks at me and quickly pulls his sleeve down. He puts the knife back into his pocket.

"You carry that as a trophy or something?" I ask, walking towards him.

"A-Angelica, you don't understand," George says, walking backwards.

I grab the collar of his shirt and push him to the ground. I kneel to his side and grab his collar again, keeping it in a tight grip.

"Angelica, I never meant for this to happen." George says.

"Just like you never meant to be an ass to everyone?" I punch him in the mouth.

"What is going on over here?" I turn around. The soccer coach, Mr. Plays –yes, that is his real name- walks under the bleachers.

"Why the fuck do you care?" I say.

"Don't talk to me like that, young lady." he says.

"Oh no!" I yell sarcastically. "I am just a little girl! I could never kick someone's puny little ass. I can't play sports or do anything except braid my friends hair! Shut the fuck up! Could you hand me that 'young lady' shit, so I can shove it up your ass myself?"

* * *

I sit in the principal's office sitting in front of his desk. He looks at some papers.

"Your mother is coming to pick you up," he says. "In the mean time, I want you to tell me why you beat up Mr. Eakar."

I stare right into his eyes. "You fucking broke my family. Why the fuck would you do that to my father?"

Mr. Reynolds just stares at me for a moment. "I am going to ask one more time, why did you beat up Mr. Eakar?" I keep staring at him. He is really pissing me off, not answering my fucking question. "What happened between you two? Did he break up with you?"

I scoff. "I would never date that fucker. If you want to know why I beat him up, you should pay attention to the news." I stand up. "My brother Phillip died yesterday! George stabbed him! I shouldn't be getting punished. George should be in fucking jail!"

"Miss Hamilton, please sit down."

"Why would I? I am already getting suspended. You haven't answered my fucking question. Plus, nothing else bad can happen to me," I hit pencils and containers off Mr. Reynolds desk. "Expel me, I don't care!"

I kick the chair I sat in. I open the door and walk out of the office. I slump in a chair outside of the office.

After a while I see Mom walk down the hall.

"Are you okay, honey?" Mom asks. "What happened?"

I stand up and walk past her. "I will be in the car."

I walk far enough away from her. People crowd the hallways. Out of everyone, I spot Francis. She walks with her head down. I walk into the big crowd and hug her. She stiffens up, then wraps her arms around me, realising who it is.

We stand in the hall for a moment. I feel a hand touch my shoulder. I let go of Francis and turn around. Mom stands behind me, she smiles. I look down and don't say anything. I walk away from everyone and out of the school.

* * *

It has been six days since Phillip died. It has been five days since I got suspended. Today is October 1st: the day of Phillip's funeral.

I lie in my bed, keeping my pillow tight in my arms. I hear a knock on my door.

"Come in" I say, my mouth in the pillow.

I hear the door open. I feel a little sinking on my bed. I turn around. Mom sits on my bed. She is in a long, black dress.

"We are leaving in an hour, okay?" Mom says, rubbing my side.

I turn back around. Mom takes the blankets off of me. My legs get cold and I curl up, putting my knees to my chest. I hear my window open. Light shines into the room.

"Come on, get up" Mom says.

I turn around. Mom stares at me: arms crossed over her chest. I hiss at her. She chuckles a little and walks out of the room. I get up and slam my door closed. I grab my robe off a shelf and put it over my shoulder.

I walk out of my room and to the bathroom. I knock on the door: no one answers. I open the door and close it behind me.

After I finish my shower, I walk back into my room, closing the door behind me. I throw my clothes into a laundry basket in the corner of my room. I go to my mirror and straighten my hair down a bit, making it look a little presentable.

I turn around and look at my bed, where a long, black dress lies flat. It has short sleeves and darker shade of black on the collar. Beside of it lays long, black, leather gloves and stockings. On the ground sits tall black heels.

I undo my robe and throw it onto a chair. I look through my drawer and grab a clean pair of underwear and a bra. I put them on, then grab the stockings. I stay standing up, putting my legs through one leg space. My foot gets stuck and I try to push it down. I lose my balance and hit the ground. I lie on the ground and look up at the ceiling. I fling my legs up and down, making small squealing noises. I sit up and blow and piece of hair up, only for it to fall back in front of my eyes.

After fifteen minutes I finally get the outfit on. I open my closet and look at myself in the full body mirror. The dress reaches my ankles, showing my heels. My black, leather gloves reach up to my sleeve (why wouldn't Mom get a long sleeved dress and give me tiny gloves?). The dress shows my curves and makes my flat chest look big.

I open the door to my room and listen to the yells downstairs. I walk to the top of the stairs. I look at Mom who is trying to do up William's suit. Eliza hangs off of Mom. I walk downstairs and take Eliza.

"You are going to wreck your dress." I say, pulling her dress down, making it straight.

Mom does up William's suit. She stands up and takes my hands.

"You look beautiful." Mom sounds like she is going to cry.

"Don't cry, Mom." I say.

"I'm trying not to," she wipes her eyes. "This is a very emotional day. Wait, you put makeup on?"

"Yeah," I blush and look at my feet. "I am doing it for Phillip. He always liked seeing me with makeup on."

I look at Mom, she smiles. "Come on guys, let's go out to the van."

She opens the door and we all walk out. I go into the front seat. Mom helps Eliza do up her seatbelt. She closes the door then gets into the drivers seat. I rest my head on the window.

We pull up to the funeral parlor. We all get out. I walk behind my family. I look at everyone going inside. Only a couple people stand out. Most of them are Dad's friends like, Mr. Lafayette, Mr. Mulligan, Mr. Washington and Mr. Burr with Theodosia.

My family walks inside the parlor. People crowd the room, but no one really talks. I see people walk up to Phillip's casket. Mom leads my siblings and I into the line.

I freeze in my tracks. "I can't do this, Mom. I can't see him."

"If you don't want to see him, you can go wait outside."

I hug Mom and walk out. I lean against the bricks of the building watching people walk inside and crowd on the lawn. I see Mr. Laurens walk up with Dad. I walk up to them, we all stop. I hug Dad, he hugs me back. The smell of green tea fills my lungs: the smell of Dad.

"When did you find out?" I ask.

"Five days ago" I let him go.

I look at Mr. Laurens. "Uh, Mr. Laurens, is there any chance that Francis came?" I ask.

"She couldn't." he says.

I nod in understanding. Dad and Mr. Laurens walk past me and into the parlor. I walk back and lean against the wall.

Mr. Burr and Theodosia walk up to the building. Theodosia keeps her arm wrapped tightly around her fathers. She looks over at me and frees her arm. She walks over to me and leans against the wall too.

"Are you doing okay?" She asks.

"Not really," I say. "D-did you hear how he died?" She stares at me blankly. "I sat by his side and watched his blood spill onto the street. I held his wound and kept him in my hands as he died. I will ever forget it, I will probably never let go of it either, so the answer is no. I am not doing okay. I will never be the same."

"I'm sorry," Theodosia whispers. "I know that we broke up, but I have never stopped loving him."

She walks back to her father and heads into the funeral parlor. I close my eyes and rapidly punch the bricks until my hands bleed.

Everyone spills out of the building soon enough. Mom and my siblings walk over to me.

"Come on," Mom says. "There are going to bring the casket to the cemetery."

"Have they brought the casket out of the building yet?" I ask.

"No, why?" I don't answer her. I run into the building. Two guys start closing the casket.

"Wait!" I yell. They both look at me. "C-can I see my brother?"

The two men look at each other and walk out of the room. I slowly walk up to the casket.

The makeup on him just makes him look like he is sleeping. His hair is done up in a ponytail. His hands stay crossed over his chest. He holds a bouquet of red roses.

"Hey, Phillip, it's me, Angie," I say. "I really miss you. I punched George the other day for you."

I pause. I wait for him to respond, then remember. "I didn't want to see you, but I couldn't help myself. All I want to do is see your brown eyes and your beaming smile again."

I start to cry.

"I just miss you. You have helped me through so much; I never ever go the chance to say that I love you, or that I care for you. I just acted like a horrible little sister. If I could take it all back, I would have defiantly done it way differently."

I put my fingers through his hair then put my hand on his.

"Please, wake up," I say. "I want you to wake up and tell me that everything is going to be okay." I wipe my fingers under my eyes, making sure my mascara won't run. "Bye, Phillip."

I start to walk away. I stop and walk back to Phillip. I hug his dead body tightly. I let go of him and look down. I take off my necklace. It is gold and has my name written on it.

You may not remember, but you got me this necklace last year."

I put his head up and put the necklace around his neck. My name sits on his chest. I turn around and walk away. I walk to the car and sit in the passenger seat. Mom starts the car and begins to drive.

We drive right behind the hearse. We drive slow. Rain sprinkles from the sky. Then, it begins to pour hard.

We park the car at the edge of the cemetery. I grab an umbrella off the ground. Everyone piles out of the car. Mom and Alexander share an umbrella, Eliza and William share one and John and James share one. Usually Phillip and I share one, but he isn't here anymore.

We walk through the gates of the cemetery, following four men who carry Phillip's casket. We follow them to his dug grave. They put the casket on a machine that is in the hole.

People crowd around. Umbrella's make a big roof for everyone. The Hamilton family goes to the front of the crowd. People put different coloured flowers on the casket. Mom and Dad each put a couple flowers into the grave. Mom leans down and whispers something. She gets up and walks back into the crowd.

After about an hour only our family is at the cemetery. Eliza, William, John, Alexander and James sit under a tree, talking. Mom and Dad stand over at the gates. I still stand in front of Phillip's grave.

I stare at his name. 'Phillip Hamilton' runs through my head. I look up at Mom and Dad. Mom takes Dad's hand. I stare at their laced fingers. I look straight as a car drives by. I look at the tree that stands at the edge of the cemetery. Francis leans against it. She wears a black hoddie and dark jeans.

I walk over to her. A small fence separates us.

"Your father said you weren't coming" I say.

Francis puts her hands deep into her pockets. "I couldn't help it," she looks behind me. "I guess your parents got back together?"

I look back at Mom and Dad, then back at Francis. Her blue eyes stand out from her dark outfit.

"Yeah, I guess" I say.

We stay silent for a moment. Francis looks down at my knuckles. "What happened?"

"I got a little mad," I reply. "You know how I told you I broke up with my girlfriend when Phillip died?"

"Yeah, why?" She looks right into my eyes.

"As you guessed, I am lesbian." I rub the back of my neck.

"Yeah, I guessed."

"Francis, I really like you." I talk fast. I fiddle with my hair.

"I-I'm sorry," Francis says. "I am not ready to move on," I nod quickly, biting my lip. "B-but I guess you are kind of cute."

"Shut up," I look down at my feet. Francis quickly kisses me on the cheek. I blush furiously. "I have to do something. I will be back, okay?"

Francis nods. I walk back over to Phillip's grave.

"Phillip," I say. "You made Francis promise before you died to never forget you. I want you to be happy. I will make sure we will remember you. I will make her happy, you can trust me on that."

I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look back. Francis stands behind me. I stand up and lean my head on her shoulder. We look down at Phillip's grave.

Six days ago was the day I broke up with my girlfriend, the first day I talked to Francis Laurens, and the day of my brother's death. Five days ago I punched George Eakar and developed a crush on Francis Laurens. Today is the day of my brother's funeral and the day Francis kissed me. Even in the darkest times you can find a little light.

* * *

 _ **I finished! I am happy, but really sad too. I loved writing this fanficiton, but I am glad that it is finally over. I am probably going to be posting another fanfiction soon. Hopefully, if there are any Maximum Ride fans out there, I will be writing a fanfiction of it soon. I just need to finish the books. I still have four more to go. Well, I am quarter way through Fang, but whatever. Anyway, I am really glad you enjoyed this story. Thank you to all my fans, even though there aren't a lot. I thank my friends who are nice enough to read it, and thanks to my sister who edits this fanfic. You will have to edit my new one soon. Getting off topic again, Jean! Anyway, thank you so much!**_


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